DIENNAUCCI

2010-10-30T16:00:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday , kak mimy . May your wishes all come true & may always happiness filled in your life. I LOVE YOU ALOT & ABG FAI TOO & IMELDA .

Never i forget all of you even i got nothing to do with him anymore :)

So yesterday was a blast . Awesomeeeee time I had .

I did disappoint the boy because the stupidness thing that ive done yesterday but im so sorry . I just cant help it . Promised its gonna be my last and for all.

I miss you badly , Muhd Ridzuan.

& its gonna be FIRST NOVEMBER sooooon ; Hurry Hurry :)

2010-10-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

Im sorry for being at worst . Im sorry for being stupid , at times. Im sorry that i couldnt be the best for you.

& Im sorry ive caused you troubles.

Bottomline ; i know im a troublemaker .

We had a stupid arguments just now & i dont know why or what makes it started off.

I was touched afterwhich ive received his text saying that ; im priceless for him . I felt like im an important person for him . Well , guys. What do you expect . They just love saying sweet stuffs to girls.

But honestly , im having doubts on loving him because of something that i kept to myself & no one knows .

Give me a lil bit time for me to adjust everything between us , <3

Again , Im sorry for everything that happens today.

& im barely sorry for not picking up your calls just now before you're off to tekong.

Take care of yourself , love. & you know i'll always misses you much and i'll always behaved myself when you're away :)

& im so gonna graduate soon. In a few weeks time, i guess . I just cant wait to end school. Im too tired to go school and too tired waking up so damn early in the morning , just to dragged myself to school.

2010-10-17T12:21:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the late updates , people. Am too busy with school/preparation for the renovating house and also with my loved ones too.

Hmm , let me see what should i blog about ;

Life was good and school seems so boring days by days. & hella yeah my birthday's coming soon.

I swear , i hate to be seventeeen :)

Birthday , hurry hurry pleaseee <3

Yesterday was awesomee. Meet the boy and i didnt expect that he could drive due to___________. Only me knows about it. So , it shall be a little secret between me & the boy.

As usual , i was eager to meet him when comes to weekends. Know why ?

Because i missed him so much.

I <3 when it comes to weekends because that's the only date that i could meet him.

Now , i know what it feels like being with someone whom serving his National Service.

& yes i had a great time too last weekend with the boy & friends. Its so funny when i knew his friend's girlfriends. Small world , huh :)

I swear we really had a great time together , laughing our ass out non-stop.

Pictures are all on FB , people :)

Here are the people whom loves me for what i am & not for what i have. I <3 you , guys alot & thanks for being here with me at all time. <3 you guys much.

I LOVE YOU , PEOPLE :)

Lastly , i wanna thank to god that he allowed me to know this boy bit by bit.

& I just wanna thank to this boy that he's the one whom had really made me stand once more. I know ive been a bitch for the past years & now after i met him, i felt like its better for me to changed for the better and nomore flinging around. Thanks for making me what i am right now.

& hope things will just go smoothly between us & i'll just hope we could go on any further more.

& im sorry for what happened yesterday and i know i shouldnt have involved you in my situation.

Im sorry , soldier boy <3

and lastly , I misses you much.

Love was all i want

2010-10-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

Im glad that im out from all those misery ive been suffering for the past three years. Yes , there were at times , we had good times together , but ive made a maturely decision by leaving him before things will get worst even.

I dont want to live my life with a player like him again and again.

He dont deserved my love , infact someone else does.

Dude , karma will strikes you back afterwhat you did behind my back.

You're such an arsehole and im hating you for that.

You think being a player is cool enough ? boy , grow up. Till when you wanna live with your player life.

Know what ; im just waiting for you to loved someone so dearly and yet that someone will ditched you , dude.

Trust me and karma will awaits you , pain ass boy.

Will be meeting soldier boy this saturday. Oh boy , i'll just hate weekdays. I'll be starting to miss him even more deeply.

Ridzuan ...

A boy that never fails to make me laugh at all times.

A boy that always cheer me up when im down.

A boy never fails to be here with me always.

A boy that becames a stranger and suddenly became someone that ive treasured the most.

& lastly , Ridzuan..

Thanks for everything. You made me stand once more and you made me being a strong girl to face everything.

FUCK

2010-10-03T17:53:00.000+08:00

Will be back as soon as possible :)

2010-08-24T17:20:00.001+08:00

Dear god , please protect that boy of mine.

Dont make him suffered too much because i cant bare seeing it.

He's being the best of all these all along & imma going get a new phone.

Waiting for his payday ((:

Ive been through alot of obstacles this month of Ramadhan & i just hope i can take things easy & not by using my ego.

I miss SCHOOOOL

& promise to be a good girl and as well as being a good student too.

Promised for this term , im going to do all my assignments and stop fooling around in school , okay babygirls ? (:

2010-08-22T15:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when things between us are going totally bad , i felt like giving up on you. But , you never failed to give up on me , love.

Being with you , is always what ive wanted to be & now , im here trying a lil bit of changes by putting my ego aside & i'll just hope everything gonna be just the way we want things to be.

& i love you way much , boy.

Pretend that everything's gonna be fine

2010-08-13T16:19:00.003+08:00

Let the pictures do the talking (:

&& selamat pengantin baru to my dearest kak Weldani & abg Juraimi. May you bless with love & i love you both alot.

Spending my National Day this year was awesomeee. Went to this place where we could played any games that we want and the place are way much comfortable for us. I had a great time with the siblings (:
But before that , i just wanna say sorry to the boy that really could stand with my nonsense at all times. He bare with the scold/mad/grumpy and etc for this past few days. Im sorry & I love you and yes i really do , playboy ♥

& yes we managed to catch a movie at night. "Salt" , what a boring show (:
Then , off home and something happened that i dont want to elaborate here.
But still , i had a great a weekend with loved ones.

Been spending my life with this playboy of mine. He can be such a sweet boy at times & he can be such a pain ass too. Afterall , he's the best boy even sometimes he can be a jerk. I know people were asking me " ami with hiim back ? " all i can say to you guys was , " i dont know , and im not sure of myself but one thing i can sure of , my heart is always been him and ive madly in love with him.

We're not in a serious relationship like what other couples are. Its just that too complicated. I let fate decide. If yes , he's my fate then i accept it with all my heart. Likewise , daddy told both of us , We're still young and there's alot we need to learned. So , im letting everything goes by itself and once he's about to settle down , im the happiest girl in this world. Can i have that for my birthday's present , playboy ♥ ?
&& lastly , happy three years eighth month .
Its been such blissful for me having you in my life.
Whatever we've planned together in future , let's commit to it alright and prove to people that we could (:
ILOVEYOU

Its all not about the looks

2010-08-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

Its eight of the august . Three more days to Ramadhan. Time flies so fast.

&& i just cant barely wait for my birthday.

So basically , life has gone too far Awesomee for me.

Even there's something that makes me down or even confused , i've learned to take things easy and not followed by my ego.

All thanks to Haikal for being such a guy that changed me just like that.

My weekend was tiring.

Friday right after school , went home and off to the boy's crib due to there's small gathering at his house as Sis Weldani getting married the next day.

Reached home nearly one am && the next morning woke up early in the morning as i have to reached Pasir Ris at 9.15am.

I had a great day spending my whole entire day with the boy's family.

It's so great when having people around pampered me like how i wanted it to be (:

And thanks to the boy, for being such a wonderful guy to me even sometimes he can be a fucking jerk, HAHAHA.

But deep down , i know his heart is pure. I know his love is only for me and nobody else. Its just that im with my ego & being a bad girl to him.

Im sorry.

Tomorrow , the 9th of august , National day & i assumed its going to be fucking packed at town area.

But , the boy wants to catch the fireworks & I'm glad . Know why ?
Because it's two years i didnt get to see those beautiful fireworks with him.

Thankgod & please tomorrow i dont want to be in tears under those fireworks (:

PS: /Pictures for the weekend are all in Facebook.

I miss you , come back soon

2010-07-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

Why am i being so stubborn enough to still kept thinking of him.

He's not worth it even for my love and fuck okay with those sweet words you said.

Just keep it okay ? because this time i'm not falling for it. Save it for your dearest girl , okay , dude ?

A jerk like you is always a jerk.

Its just that im being so stupid enough to be keep being with you on and on.

It sads me , sometimes but im glad enough im backing off.

Im thankful enough i've owned a great boyfriend right now even we're now having a misunderstanding between each other. but i believe it just makes us even more stronger . Likewise you said , we going to make it through but we just need to adjust a lil bit on our relationship.

Whatever it is , im not letting this love lockdown.

I love you , haikal and yes i really do.

My Saturday. How about yours ? (:

2010-07-25T22:23:00.001+08:00

I had an awesome saturday night with love. Watching those fireworks with you , having your arms around me & lastly a forehead kiss from you . I was so touched , boy.

Met a friend at town before heading to meet the love. And as usual , he's late but this time he's late for ten minutes. Habit that i don't like.

Love was so sweet , he surprised me a huge "Stitch" for me as we had an arguments the day before it.

I was speechless until he spotted me smiling by myself. "Org tak gilee ehh ? " (:

But whatever it is , thankyousomuch for it.

We headed to town , to watch movie as we had a free tickets for it but the timing are all sucks.

So , we headed to fullerton , to watch those beautiful fireworks and girlfriend Irah & boyfriend was there too .

the sweetest part was we do have a heart to heart talk.

At first , its totally craps when talking in that kind of manner with him but afterall , it do make sense , though.

and i just have to learned to endure things.

because whatever i am right now , its all because of you.

Thanks for making my life such a wonderful thing.

2010-07-24T11:47:00.000+08:00

Am meeting boyfriend this afternooon . Hopefully there's fireworks to accompany us at night.

Boyfriend had a lil surprise for me later on and i just cant wait

&& boy , i just falling for you so deeply (:

FALLING FALL FOR YOU

2010-07-22T16:29:00.005+08:00

I had a great time with this bunch of girls. They just made my day even im too tired on that day.

Supposely the boy fetched me from work & surprisily this bunch of people were there too. I just loved them alot. The Craps abd jokes i got to stand with even im too tired. Afterall , i had an awesome time with them.

When I first saw you, I never thought you'd mean the world to me. Being strangers at first, we grew to become friends to good friends to bestfriends. Rmmber the times when I cried for Din? You were there for me all the time, without fail. Although we only knew each other fr a few weeks, it felt like Ive known you fr a few years.To be frank , when we started to know each other for a few days , ive started to loved you with all your care and concern but I wasnt quite sure whether it was the right thing to do. But I told myself that I'll give it time. And sure enough, it paid off. I see myself falling in love with you more day by day. Thinking about you just makes me smile, dreaming about you just makes me miss you even more, being in your arms, it felt like im in cloud nine. I just like the way you pampered me enough. Frankly , i didnt thought that ive fall for you but i know evrything happens for a reason.

Thankyou so much for entering my life & please dont you just walk away from my life just like that because i still need youu, buddy ♥

I want you to sing me to sleep,
And hold me where the nightmares cannot find me.
Ever since the day you walked into my life,
The pain has ceased,
I feel like I can breathe again ,♥

I LOVE YOU.

2010-07-18T18:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was awesomee. The boy fetched me from work and surprisily my babygirls was there too.

I had an awesomee saturday night yesterday with the boy & babygirls :)

dear diary ,

ive been fall out of love too much and now i just want to have a clean/serious relationship. I knew this boy since secondary. We're just friends in the first place , but the funnier part was both of us have the same feelings towards each other that we didnt even let out as we kept it to ourselves.

And as for now , im the happiest girl when he let out everything to me.

People were talking about you , as you're not the right guy for me.

I dont care what people says about you , love. Even you have tattoo everything or whatever shit , once my mom told me that follow what's in your heart and not people. But sometimes , ive been too much followed what my heart says , end up dissapointment. Maybe its called , Life.

Let be this time round a great one. I just dont want any dissapointment that ive been through for 3 years as i had enough.

Lastly ,

i love the way you are , skater boy.

2010-07-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

I want someone I can go to. Someone I can tell my secrets to. Someone who wont judge me with the mistakes that I've made, for the mistakes I will continue to make. I want someone who understands. I want someone who hears, not just listens. I want someone who says goodnight to me, and prays to god they get the chance to say good morning. I want someone who knows my quirks. I want someone who wipes my tears away. I want someone who needs me. I want someone who loves me.

Love , Efy

Farkkkkkkkkkk . i misss youuu

2010-07-02T17:39:00.000+08:00

You left me just like that.

You being such a great companion/friend to me.

Didnt know that everything turn out so seriously until you have to leave me for a few months.

Im here waiting for you patiently , dude.

still remembering what you said on the phone ;

" you take care of yourself . before im off , all i want is to hear your voice before i suffered inside "

)':

Im just hoping you're doing fine wherever you are .

Yesterday was totally packed with people due to "Eclipse" on screen yesterday.

But , thank god. i could handle it alone (:

And surprisily , Saifudin were there to drop by & he watched movies alone while waiting for me to end my worrkk.

At first , everything goes smoothly until when the part i saw something on his hand that i nearly recognised.

You dont have to lie , Saifudin. Im no fool of yours anymore.

FUCK , WHO CARES

2010-06-23T15:28:00.001+08:00

Its upset me when you blaming everything on me. Im just a human being that makes mistakes all the times & i know what's bad and good for me. You dont have to say all those trash words to me but im glad that you're still have this man's feelings.

Those arms that you put around me when i'm in tears.

Im sorry if i'm not that those typical girls you've known. Im just being me and this what i am. Thanks for trying to understands & stands with my fucking shit attitude. Frankly , i love you but i just dont want to hurt anyone else.

You said me once that you wanted to get serious on me but i was quiet.

Because i dont want to get hurt anymore. I dont want the same history repeat itself again to me.

I just had enough of this "love thingy."

Please , dont ever say those words to me again, will you ?

2010-06-17T11:06:00.000+08:00

Working was totally great , & thanks to dayah for teaching me everything until i can do everything by my own (:

I loveee youu , girl.

People & the surroundings are too friendly & im loving it ! (:

Been busy all this week until i couldnt have the time with policeman ♥

I miss him but ive realised everything seems upside down. Slowly , it fades away & i dont think i want that to be, either.

Both of us busy and i know this will keep us distance away but thank you for fetching me yesterday even if it just a meters away from my home.

I know you've been trying to understands me and my situation. But , im gladly enough you making the effort to stand with my fucking nonsense.

Having a date with the policeman as soon as possible.

to someone_______ ,

Thanks for being such a wonderful guy to me these days.

i've apprieciate it but i know it won't last for long.

things are gonna repeat itself again & again.

I'm tired of being a fool to you.

You keep playing those games with me & sometimes im freaking fucking tired.

Yes , i love you and it will always will but i just cant sit here , kept returning you again & again after what you've done.

Let's just be friends and i think that's gonna be fine between us.

I don;t want to have any commitment with you anymore.

So , whoever shit you wanna be with , dating with or whatsoever , go ahead. I dont mind because i dont have the rights.

You have your social life while i have my own life.

I miss you , POLICEMAN

2010-06-13T19:20:00.000+08:00

I had an awesomeee night yesterday. Spending time with cousins and its double way AWESOME.

Had fun but in the end , im totally shagged.

Wake up at 6pm just now & policeman love called and saying that he might be coming over here.

but im too lazy to go down . booohuuu ):

Those lies that you always told me & sometimes i cant really hold it anymore.

Maybe , we're not meant to be together , instead friends do.

LOVE ME

2010-06-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday turn out to be pretty fine. Met the Manager and will be reporting to work on Monday at 12noon.
Then , off to meet Shakinah while waiting for the policeman ♥ .
He was late , so im off home first.
To make it short , i simply had a wonderful late night with you almost every single nights.
Sneaking out in the middle of night , just to meet the policeman ♥ was AWESOME.
i was speechless when received a text from you , saying that to look at the tree and it really meant to even its too fast for us. "Love you always , elfidiana". How sweet of you to engraved that , boyy.
I promise i'll give the love that you've been wanting from me (:
Thanks for being here with me , all the times.
I made a mistake by leaving you but now , no. im not going to do the same mistake ive done.
Hold on to my hand and never will you let it go , even once.

Today , plan was going to sembawang first and off to cousin's chalet.
Will be watching "karate kid" with the policeman ♥ today.
&& I caaant barely waiiiiiiittttttttt (:

POLICEMAN ♥

2010-06-11T11:55:00.001+08:00

Life was good and freaking good. Working life gonna been starting really soon.

Now , what im concentrating is my school/working and lastly dearest Policeman ♥

cari banyakbanyak duit , lepas tu khawin. berangan laa lu brader! hahaha.

Yesterday was AWESOMEE. Snowcity/Lunch at BBQ Chicken that im craving for/Movie/Airport/Sweet home.

Thanks a million times for the wonderful day. I swear it was awesomeeee-ness.

I want it to be everyday but next week both of us going to be so busy with our own stuffs.

Booooooooooooooooooo.

Its sounds so crazy that im in love. He made me fell in love. He made me wants to be loved.

Im thankful enough , that i known him.

Here i am , loving you each and every single day , love.

I wont be letting or leave you ever again.

I promise you that.

Im done with my past and totally done & now you're my present , and im going to love yoou with all my heart , My Policeman.

PUPPY LOVE

2010-06-07T14:55:00.001+08:00

I shouldnt have asked him out , yesterday. It was my biggest mistake.

After yesterday that im with him , ive realised something on him . I shouldnt be elaborate here , instead.

So whatever it is , its finally over between me & him.

Because i think its the best for us. We are not meant to be together in the first place.

Afterall im the one whom been taking care of him ever since he met with an accident , end up this i get .

(: Its sads sometimes , but what to do.
People doesnt appreciate our kindness & love. hehh

Ive gotta move on in life.

Puppy love~~ (:

Been working soooon and i cant bloody wait.

I Need Cash and even make myself busy as i dont want to kept thinking about him all the times.

Babygirls , outing soooon.

I cant barely wait on Friday.

SENTOSA , yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!

I dont want to be in love

2010-06-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

Everything's going to be normal days by days. I have to move on in this little small world without him. Because its not worth it.

People around me kept saying ,"kau nk terpikir2 psl dier , wtpe ? dier tak hargai kau. Jantan byk laa kat luar. Kau cume nk kene pilih jeg."

Its not easy for me , people.

But , i know someday i'll get rid those feelings i had for him for the past 3 years.

All i can say ,

goodbye , love )':

Yesterday , met the babygirl at her workplace & surprisingly , Natasha was there working too (:

I need to date with that babygirl of mine asap.

Waiting for calls from the Cathay , when i could start working.

I NEED CASH BADLY!

Promise to watch movies with a friend.

A friend that always been there.

A friend that tries to understand me more better.

A friend that tries to stand with my nonsense.

A friend that i could depend on.

And last but not least ,

Im scared to fall in love with this friend of mine.

Noooooooooooo~~

I cant be fall in love anymore (:

Mengusung rindu

2010-06-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was totally AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.

Met this babygirl of mine after so long didnt met each other.

Had my interview at Somerset & hell yes both of us get a "Famous Amos" for ourselves.

Sodaaaaaapppppppppp , after so long tak makan.

And we had a 3 hours of karaoke @ Simpang Bedok (Cash Studio)

I had a great time , i swear.

Lets datiiinngg like yesterday , okay b ?

Thanks for everything , babygirl.

The laugh , The long talks , The Jokes , The criticise and etc.

Lagu " Mengusung Rindu" baiik skaliieee , i swear i felt like crying when sing to it (': "

I love you , Tirna Razali.

You're the bestest friend even we had our bad times together.

Had my examinations just now & It sucks. Lots of blanks because i couldnt answered it.

Arghh~~

Suddenly , i saw this gorgeous boyy appear right infront of me.

2010-05-27T20:36:00.002+08:00

Those feelings that i couldnt lie to....

2010-05-24T20:55:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th birthday , Syakila!

Today school was great when it comes to celebrate the birthday girl 's birthday , ignored the part that im freaking moody early inda morning as no one told me that there's no morning lesson. Ergh~~

We managed to surprised the birthday girl and yes our plan goes smoothly (:

Ended school , and there's goes our second surprise for her. "Sabo-ing time"

It was AWESOME and it tickle me out when seeing the birthday girl gets Sabo-ed with flour.

So , off to the boys's crib to teach the little rascal tuition.

Thank god , he passed his exam. AMINN.

I miss the boyy. Didnt met him for 3 days and i missed him badly already ):

Today , he off to Johor to buy some stuffs and pleaseeeeee text me sooon.

I miss youuuu , bestfriend.

Come homeee soon because i need youu , lovee.

We have been really gone through alot obstacles together for the past 3 years.

Let all this is a test for us , bestfriend.

Ive always lovee youu , prettyboyy.

2010-05-22T15:24:00.001+08:00

Yesterday , was awesome with S , indeed. Went to Cousin's performance , located at Bukit Batok . Double AWESOME.

And Cousin looks perfectly on stage and the dance step tooo. Pictures will be upload soon on FB.

As yesterday photos are all on S's Iphone .

But , before heading to Cousin's performance , went to Tiong Bahru . S's brother crib to see Baby imelda.

She's so cuteee and adorable (:

Then , ahead to Cousin's performance.

I was so shagged yesterday till i fall asleep inside train while i was on the way home with S.

The journey are wayy too fucking long for me. But because of dearest cousin , I'll be there whenever she needs me to be there . Ily , cousin (:

And thanks for tagging along , bestfriend. Before heading home , we had our late dinner.

&& it was so cute of us to eat at that kind of place . Ilysm , bestfriend.

And reached home at nearly to twelve and off bed.

Woke up at nine today as lil baby sis was damn noisy. And i receive one texts that its from insertname.

I hate when people get the wrong person.*annoying , you seee.

Today , Saturday. Stayed at home due to im still tired.

Bestfriend might be coming over and pleaseee i missed him already .

First , we are enemies.

Then , friends.

Began to have crush on each other.

Then , we in love.

And now , you're mine.

Bestfriend is what i called you now.

Because bestfriends never leave each other while relationship YES.

So i better be off calling you bestfriend because i have this confidence that i'll never let you go and so are youu.

Overall , My bestfriend is My boyfriend.

I love youuu , bestfriend (:

Flirt , that whats he is (:

2010-05-17T15:08:00.005+08:00

Booooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Late to school again. Phase test starts at 9am & ive reached at 9.30 plus. abeh takde wake up call macam mane nk bangunn. boohuu ):
So , did my phase test well and hell yes i PASSED. Amiin .
One left thats going to be on wednesdayy , Exam on 2 and 3 june & hoooooooooooorrrrrraaaaaaaayyyyyyy !
Two months and im done with my school life and including S will be happy too (:

Thursday , the whole lot of second year will be attending this trip at Changi Naval base and i know the weather is going to f-hot. Arghhh .
And Friday , cousin's big day. She's performing in her school and was expecting me to goo. Probably , i'll be going with S.
Im so desperately wanting to watch "The Last Song." I heard the show was two thumbs up!
Awwwwww.... pleaseeee hurrryy , i wanna watch it (:

sometimes , i dont understand what actuallly you want from me.
What hurts the most when seeing you flirting around behind my back.
Where does all the words that youve said to me that day gone to?
Is it just came out from your mouth ?
3 years counting , and ive been wanting for you to change for the better but my hopes are just not worth it.
I dont know why can you just be faith only one and not two or more.
I dont know why must you be a flirty when you're in a relationship status.
All i can do right now was praying hard for the best of us & make me strong in whatever im facing in future with youu.
&& i have to accept who you are and what you are.
If i can stand it with the way you are , ill stand it.
If not , im sorry i have to let go this time because you're not worth of my love , S .
Realise , will youuu . Realisee , pleassseeee. Because im tired of your stupid/idiotic nonsense.
Sometimes , ive regret to fall for youu because whenver i left youu , ive always come back to youu.
Despite that i f-love youu.

Make Love (:

2010-05-16T17:06:00.000+08:00

Was browsing through my pictures & i saw this picture. It reminds me alot of efforts i made for him .

The days when ive always shed tears when seeing him at the state like that.

The days when i never fail to be there for him.

The days when we get close together.

Thank god , everything's seems fine right now.

He's fully recovering & im glad enough.

Make your life useful this time , boyy

Because people around you loves youu & im here loving you each and everyday even you've hurt me enough.

I Love You

2010-05-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday , Mom.

Youre the best mom that ive ever had & ; imma lucky girl to have youu.

Sometimes you nags like a Mom.

Sometimes you advice like a friend.

Sometimes you understands my inside out and in like a bestfriend.

I loveee youu more than anything else in this world , Mom.

Happy 39th birthday , pretty woman (:

Much Love , Efy .

2010-05-12T22:43:00.001+08:00

Again , woke up late to school today due to slept late yesterday. Now , promise to myself that i wont sleep late or even having night calls anymore (:

Did our report & i didnt get to help out because my babygirls didnt even tell me that they're doing it. PANTAT BETUL KORANG!

But , they being such a great friend.

This what they said "Bukan taknk bilang kau , kau busy main comp. kite kasi kau main comp laa."

Aww.. susah datang tau dpt group members mcm gini. hahha.

We went off earlier because we got job interview at Somerset.

Dearest Tirna off day , and i didnt get the chance to meet her up.

Somebody tell this friend of mine that I MISS HER TERRIBLY, can ? (:

Job interview sucks. The queue sucks.

But whatever it is , hope to get the job cause its freaking near with dearest tirna's workplace (:

Then , ahead to S crib. He gets his payday & decided to treat the whole family makaan.

Had a great time too but in a same time i was lil bit of upset. Ignore that.

Thanks for the treat . Thanks for the so called "ROTI" . Thanks for the cab.

Tomoroow Thirteeen.

And its going to be three years fifth month.

Ive been through ALOT ALOT ALOT of obstacles in life with him.

Thats life & relationship all about. Never ending of having conflicts between each other.

Midnight movie && Prata Butter

2010-05-10T11:34:00.000+08:00

Currently in school. Im super bored.
Phase test coming soooon && ive not yet prepared at all.
Mostly friends said , its damn hard , i gotta back up yeahh.
And my attendance too , i dont want to get debarred , either.
So , someone said to me that i need to go school everyday & not skip school or lessons (:
See how laaa ehh. Hah.

Yesterday was AWESOME , AWESOME , AWESOME.
Before heading to S crib , met friends awhile and catch up with them again after done with teaching the little rascal (:
Overall , i had a great time yesterday. Naaaakk lagii macam semalaaaam boleeee tak ? *Evil voice.

Boyy , i miss those aeroplanes )':

Listening to old songs makes me remind of the old days

2010-05-08T12:08:00.003+08:00

Im sorry , i didnt mean to hurt youu in any way.

I know you're upset about it.

Im sorry for putting down the phone just like that.

again , millions of apologys , boyy.

Didnt had a proper meal for three days.

The boy was frustrated && im sorry okayy.

I'll eat whenever i felt like okayy.

Two more months to goooo..

Yayyyyyy!

THIRTEEN , please come faster , can ?

The date i get to only see youu and i swear im mising those days.

Life is unfair because you separate me with the one i loved.

Even you've hurt me alot , even you're in love with someone else,

deep down , im there in your heart , isnt it ? (':

2010-05-07T15:20:00.001+08:00

Went to Marina with this guy above with my dearest sis in law too.

Awhile , meet sis in law's boyfriend and off home.

Our journey was so damn awful.

The boy & i was so thirsty until we couldnt really stand it.

Reached Simei and we ran just to bought drinks for us.

I had a great time but something happen that really upsets.

We had settled things nicely today .

Its just that i have to sacrifice abit & be strong enough.

It sads me when you said that you made a stupid mistake for the past two years ago.

I gotta be strong enough.

School was fine. Again , i have to bare with my tears.

It kept coming out && thanks to my babygirls & (insertname) for being there.

You guys that i loved dearly.

You guys made me strong once again.

& not forgetting Shimaa <3 (':

But whatever it is , i gotta be strong & let time flies by itself.

Thanks for sending me to the bustop with the hot sun that we have to bare with it together.

Apprieciate it aloot~

Someone told me that big girls dont cry (:

2010-05-06T12:15:00.004+08:00

The Saddest Thing is to see someone you loved , loved someone else that you knew .
(':
But thank god , you made me strong once again.
Yesterday , I felt totally lost but thankfully im fine when people whom loved me were there for me.
I love youu , people.

Tomorrow , might be meeting the cousin & boyfriend and sleepover.
Planning was to watch "Iron Man" but to recomfirmed.
I love cousin because she know how to cheer me up.
Saturday meeting bestfriend Irahh & Shakinah.
Partyyyy people~~
Been making myself busy due to forgetting him isnt that easy.
But i believe days by days , he's gone from my mind.

2010-05-05T17:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a bad day for me. But in the end i managed to get over it (:
Thanks to people who made my day && not forgetting my babygirls. Love youu guys alot .
End school and off to Saifudin's crib. When there just to teach tuition and yayyyy i get my payday from my dearest mama .&& Now i wannna watch movie ! "IRONMAN & "THE LAST SONG" , pretty please ?
accompany , anyone ? (:And bestfriendIrah texted yesterday and yes i meeting her saturday night !
What should i say to mummy ? heeee.

Today was superbly AWESOMEEEEE even deep down im upset. But yeah, no point of me crying or think about him whereas he's there happy-ing away. So whatever laaaaaaa (:
Had breakfast just now and blaa blaa blaaa .
Seriously , i had a great time today.
Super duper happy~

2010-05-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

Afterall , what ive done for youu , in the end ive find out , you still loved her like how you used to.
How could i not know that every sinlge beat of your heart , its always for her & not me.
Im leaving you for a reason & i lead my life somewhere this time.

2010-05-02T15:04:00.000+08:00

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.
#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she’s scared, protect her.
#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
#25 Don’t let her have the last word.
#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.
#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.
#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.
#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

Could you do that for me ?

Love , Efy.

2010-05-01T15:05:00.012+08:00

Done with new skins , people (:
Will update soooooonn (:

Much love , Efy.

2010-04-30T16:18:00.002+08:00

I was there when you need me.

I was there crying out loud when seeing you lying on that bed.

I was there to look after you.
I was there to take care of your meals & stuffs.

I was there to make you believe in yourself and not giving up.
I was there to give advice to you.
I was there to support you.
I was there for everything.
But what i get in return when you fully recovered ?
Where's your promises you gave to me ?
Where's those words that you said to me earlier on ?
I dont know what you want , boyy.
If you wanna hurt me , then do it quickly because i couldnt take it any longer.
Yes , im sensitive with everything around me && i think you're as my boyfriend should know how my attitude goes..
You said you're tired of quarreling but i dont understand , you're the one whom asking for it.
What more do you want , Saifudin.
3 years ive tried so hard to treat you well. Isnt that not enough for you.
Im tired & yes i am totally.

2010-04-27T13:43:00.000+08:00

Somehow , im scared things will change && i dont want that to happen.

Im tired to be in tears and worst more to lose his love.

But whatever happens , i gotta be strong.

I dont understand the way my feelings goes. Jealous is always in there ( someone said that to me..)

Butt whatever it is , let time flies by itself and let time heal by itself.

Yesterday , ive learned something new.

"Bestfriend are much important rather than boyfriend.,

because boyfriend intend to always cheat on us while bestfriend always be there for us.

So a lesson to learn now was , i dont have to trust FRIENDS that much and boyfriends too

cause friends intend to betrayed us while boyfriends intend to cheat."

Im so going to love my bestfriend more than FRIENDS.

&& missing my bestfriend Irah & bestfriend Amira too.

2010-04-25T15:07:00.000+08:00

The worst part is that i can see you doing it , because you want me to hooked , and at the same time you want me as an option , even if it is an option you'll never take.

I just dont understands you.

2010-04-23T16:36:00.001+08:00

Dear someone ,

Sometimes when i look at you and you're looking back to me , i can see something. This tweeny wheeny hint of something more , something you're feeling but cant say. When our eyes meet , its like we're constantly connected , and i know no one catches it but me and you . But , whatever it is i like it that way. Its like our own little secret ; a place we go to when everything around us just gone crazy.

Sometimes , i feel like a little jealous inside imagining someone can please you more than me. I guess its just my insecurities acting up a bit. Because i know im not the most beautiful , most fun or even the most exciting person that you'll ever met.

Much love , effy.

2010-04-09T15:19:00.000+08:00

Im missing the days when you held my hand & we crossed those roads together.

Im sorry for whtever had happened yesterday.

I know ive been such bad/stupid/naughty/naive girlfriend to you but deep down in me , iloveyou with all my heart. I didnt mean to hurt your feelings or cheat you.

Everything happens for a reason.

Im lack of your attention & thats the reason why i did those stuffs.

Telling you the truth makes me felt better & end up yoou're mad at me.

I dont blame you at all.

Tears rolled down when reading those love letters that you gave me on our 3 years 3 month when we're celebrating at Sentosa.

I hope things will be the way it is because you acting cold towards me days by days.

I gotta be strong & think positive and not trying to be an ego person.

I dont care at all cause i knew & believe that im the only one in your heart , sweetheart.

Im not letting this one go again , i promise you that.

MS , I LOVE YOU.

2010-04-07T14:25:00.001+08:00

been pretty busy with some stuffs.

School's in sooon and ohhhhhh can i end my school as soon as possible , please ?

Missed bestfriend Irah , Nurul Amira & Ayie. booohuuu !

Had a little arguments with the boy recently.

All i can say , im lack of your attention , boy.

And to dearest bestfriendAmira ,

Take things easy alright & dont rush of making decision.

Everything happens for a reason & prove to boyfriend that you're the only one whom can love him as much as you do .

I miss you , bestfriend.

We'll meet up soon as there's alot of catch up do on.

2010-04-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

WILL UPDATING REALLY SOON !

2010-03-28T18:51:00.001+08:00

Planned today with the boy cancelled due to something . So , headed myself to yishun to babystar's crib.

Off home and watched the dvds that i borrowed from her.

Had a little argument with the boy cause of......

Just read insertname blog & hell yeah its annoying at first and second , im getting mad.

Like what the boy told me earlier , let them says what they want cause they just think that they're right and super duper perfect (:

Girl , no worries , i wont even say that stupid "SORRY" word to you cause i think you dont even deserve it.

Look at yourself in the mirror before saying something about people talking about you (:

Thats all. I dont want to blog about her more and more like what she did at her blog.

such a disgrace people.

AND I MISS THE BOY ALREADY , like seriously ! ):

2010-03-27T14:41:00.000+08:00

Stayed at home due to im dead tired and have been outside almost everyday. Daddy's home early today and he brought me something that im craving for. "HERSHEY" (:

yayyy ^^

Might be meeting the boy tomorrow as his family off to Abg faisal's crib to see the newborn baby.

I cant waiit ... but i dont know if i could make it tomorrow . Oh boy , i just hate things are clashing up ):

And , im missing the boy already.

So , i have to restart back about my school projects. Cant really much said in here as what had happened as it really killing me when thinking about it .

Thanks Mummy , bestfriend , babygirls and lastly ♥ for the advises. I apprieciate that much.

Now , i lead my way with a great one this time.

I just cant afford to lose you people cause you mean alot to me.

And to mummy , from now on im going to listen for whatever you gotta says cause whatever you said , end up its true. You're the best people ive had and im so going to treasure you people deep down in my heart.

I dont have to worry much cause i wont lose anything (:

So , might be starting out my project by next week & trying to find a date to meet that babystar of mine .

And , i get a new job at the boy's crib.

Become a tutor to his nephew. Told mummy & daddy about it and they agreed with it.

Im super happy cause everyday i might be seeing that boy of mine.

Oh boy , i wish you knew how much iloveyou , baby (:

2010-03-25T16:49:00.001+08:00

Yesterday woke up early inda morning due to meeting the boy & his mum at CGH as he needs to check up.

Had our lunch and off headed to the boy's crib , but mama & i off to Loyang Primary to fetch that naughty little cutest rascal aqasha (:

He might be a nuisance but sometimes he can be such an adorable kid , ♥.

Fetched him & headed back to the boy's crib.

Slacked at his crib as the boy couldnt walked around that much.

We had an argument for awhile because of this stupid idiotic issues.

I hate it when the part you throw things when you're mad.

I hate it when the part you have to shout at me.

I hate it when you just ignored me just like that.

So , i was fed up , i'll intend to keep myself quiet and waited for mama to finish pray and im off home.

I was upset , so i'll just walk out from his crib just like that without even seeing the boy's face.

Cried when walking down to the bustop and as usual bestfriend never fail to calm me down.

Reached home nearly nine and received a text from the boy.

And it was so sweet of you , boy.

You should know better that no matter how hard i mad , upset at you , it never change the way i felt about you.

Ive forgive you already the moment my tearsdrop , love.

Didnt met the boy today & i never get tired of saying , imy.

Received a call from that bloody fuck and as per normal , acting innocent enough infront of me.

Hey , im getting puke okay.

You the cause of everything and fuck i just couldnt want to see your face cause i just hate you as much as i do.

You dont have to know my boyfriend's condition because everything's come from you , asshole.

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!

I just wish i could turn back the time ):

But i believe , everything happen's for a reason. And i love the way im living my life with boyfriend right now.

He's changing alot and he made me love him even more.

Friends upset me alot but what can i do .

All i want is to end my school as sooon as possible , please.

Bestfriend , where are you ? where have you been ?

I miss you !

I need you cause there's much things i gotta share with you.

Its only you , i can depend on.

Its only you , i can share everything with you.

Imy , bestfriend Irah ):

2010-03-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Out of all pictures , this picture of him is the best :)

So today , stayed at home with my loved ones & yes we had a great movie marathon together.

Its been 17 years , ive not been spending time with family like what i did today.

Now , i realised how important of having family it is.

Didnt met the boy today & i missed him already.

Texted with him the whole fucking day & it enlights me with all his texts.

Now , waiting patiently for his call.

Call me hurry , dude cause ive missed you dearly.

Received a text from a friend.. bla bla bla.. & i cried.

I just want to end my school life as soon as possible , can i ?

I just have enough of problems right now.

Couldnt i stop having probs , can i ?

I hate having problems & people intend to blamed me for everything.

Like one problems that im facing with SuperBoy. hais.

Somehow , whatever happens , i still loved my girlfriends in ITE Yishun.

Called the boy and thanks for always been there for me.

Iloveyou , boy.

He makes me calm down with those texts he sent to me & that makes me love him even more

Awww... my superboy never fail to make me laugh.

Like what my friend says : just endure it & concentrate on your boyfriend.

Of course , i will , twin.

2010-03-22T11:43:00.000+08:00

Currently , at the Superboy's crib. While waiting for mama to get ready , take the opportunity to blog.

So , today plan accompany mama to settle some stuffs about the boy's case.

i hope everything's gonna be fine and nothing serious gonna happened.

im so in love with my Superboy. I just cant afford to lose him.

Yesterday was awesome.

Went to uncle abby's engagement & i had a great time with all of my cousins and relatives.

But , the saddest part was Superboy wasnt there. hais.

Everyone was asking about him and i just really hoping that he was there .

I just loved my superboy dearly.

God , please made him walk again llike how it used to , please ):

After the engagement and stuffs , asked daddy to send me to the boy's crib as i missed him & i have to visit him cause he needs me.

talked , laughed , quarrelled abit about something , bathed , and off sweet home.

Reached home , talked awhile with mummy about that jerk & thanks mummy for your support.

Yeah , i should listen to you at the first place for not falling for him cause end up this i get.

"A Bad Name."

Yes mummy , i regret of loving that jerk and i just waste my 2 months time with him.

But who cares , cause they dont even know my life , so you people can just fuck off and talking about me , just making me even more famous , arsehole.

Just accept the fact that whoever you clings with , they will intend to leave you cause you dont even know how to impress girls, dude.

Lu bole belah !

Superboy ...

i love you , dearly.

I dont wish to end our relationship just like that again.

You've been a great one to me for the past 3 years even we quarrelled alot of time.

I know everything happens for a reason.

And thank god , things are changing right now & so are my Superboy.

Ive been waiting for this days , love

The days when you changed for the better & love me with all your heart.

Please , dont ever leave me cause i need you to be right by side all the times.

& the plans that we've been planning all along.

You're the best of all , Saifudin.

2010-03-20T11:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday , didnt went to school due to i need to accompany mama sent ♥ to Poly as the boy needs to change his wounds and stuff.

After done everything , waited papa to fetched us & i tell ya my legs went really tired.

waited around 15 mintues plus , i think.

So ,we're off to Jurong to visit Kak Wedah and backed to the boy's house.

We had a great time even ♥ was at a state like that.

We watched this movie called "Sorority Row."

The show was totally uncensored and lame.

So , back to home sweet home around 8 plus.

Andand im working later at 6pm. I missed all of them in Bali Thai.

But before headed to work , off to the boy's cribs.

Cause i missed him already right now.

So , today meeting family right after work cause we're going to watch midnight movie.

"Alice In Wonderland-3d"

I heard the show's boring but too bad i have to cause lil sis & bro wanna watch.

booohuuuuu !

Baby ,

You dont have to be in tears like yesterday.

It really upsets me when seeing you in tears.

Yes , im upset with the situation right now but mummy told me to be strong.

Sometime , i'll intend to cry without leting people knowing im in tears ,

but mummy caught me in tears.

i dont know what to do or say.

I just want you to be the way you are last time.

Fetching me from school.

Eating lunch with me after school.

Never fail to come over to my crib.

Nver fail to make me , mummy and all smile.

I want it to be the way things should be.

Baby ,

recover soon.

I need you to support me , love.

im sorry to made you suffered for two months.

Ive realised that i wont be making you suffer again.

We've been too long &

i'll never let everything go just like that.

Hold my hand , look me into my eyes &

im yours forever.

ily , SuperBoy

2010-03-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

Just done with my blogskins & even my URL too. Yeah , things changed sometimes.

But i just cant lie to myself on and on. Ive been too long with the superboy ♥ and its not easy for me to just forget about him.

Yes , he made me upset several times but i believe everything happens for a reason.

All i want is for you to be the best for me & not making me upset again. Can uhhh ?? hahahaaha.

Superboy ♥ , please took care of yourself. I missed those littlest things we had together.

Tomorrow not going to school due to i need to send the boy to Poly. To change his Dressing and etc.

Now im concentrating on my Superboy only cause now he's my first priority.

Im not interested with any guys right now. Its now all about SUPERBOY ♥.

Girl , please dont be such an attention-seeker towards my Superboy alright.

Go and find someone else if you need special attention from guys.

Please , stop disturbing my relationships, please.

Just fcuk off , alright (:

2010-03-14T17:23:00.002+08:00

Heyy people !

Damn , my blog's totally dead. hahaha.

Been busy lately after since the boy had an accident. He was in a bad condition. I was upset when seeing him.

Been spending more of my time in hospital rather than at home.

My routine for the past one week was : wake up early inda morning go school , end school inda afternoon and off to hospital , off home around ten to eleven plus.

Never fail to go hospital cause the boy needs me.

Sometimes , im so pity looking at him but i gotta stay strong & give him encouragement.

Being in thsi kind of situation makes me bonding with his family that much.

We've laughed , talk craps , jokes around and i had a great time being with his family.

Thank god , god gave him another chance to live.

Hope you'll get soon , mohammad saifudin.

School's holiday are pretty near and hell yeah i cant wait.

Because , i got alot of plans to do.

Its going to be fun in this March holiday.

Basically , my jakarta's trip cancelled due to the boy wasnt in a good state.

At the same time , i got to stay in Singapore cause someone will going to miss me like bloody hell. hee.

I dont know how things going are right now.

Let just time decide it (:

Ps: i just got to know that my picture with shima all in the newspaper today from someone i dont know inda facebook. Check it out , people (:

2010-03-03T19:45:00.001+08:00

I love that lil sis of mine . booohhuu !

So , having dinner at River Han last friday was AWESOME.

& Ex boyfriend was there too.

Things between me & the boy was abit shaky at first but after awhile i think things are getting better.

But , i dont know laa. hais.

I still have doubts on something.

School was as per normal & hell yes i had great time with babygirls.

So the boy called me after since i text him that ive reached school , as where am i as he really wants to meet me. even it just for 5 minutes. Awww (:

The boy asked me to wait for him today , i said to myself

" ayy , deknie abes kul 5 siaaa! " hahhaa.

So , end up didnt met the boy after school.

Andand someone going to have a new bike & glad to hear that.

Okay , im off to rest my body up cause tomorrow's another big day for me!

goooonniigght , people.

2010-03-02T14:38:00.000+08:00

it all started off nicely and i didnt realised that i fell , in love with you suddenly.
The love , care and concern you gave , it amazes me and i felt like im the only one and no one else except me.
True for whatever people said , people change sometimes. So , i just accept the fact of what's happening right now.
Maybe Karma hits me back or something.
I just felt something's not right between us & yes i'll kept everything right inside me cause i know no one in this world understands me even you..
Crying every night , thinking of why i have to face this kind of situation but i know and believe that evrything happens for a reason.
Its just that right now , i have to learn to be strong .

god , give me the strength to face all these , please )':

2010-03-01T19:00:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the wonderful days you've been with me for the past one month.
Its great knowing you and im glad i have the chance to spent those days with you.
The strawberries i gave it to you. The FERRERO ROCHER you gave to me. The love ive always get from you but honestly , deep down , you've changed in a sudden.
& i swear it hurts me down.
I dont know what to do and i just hope you're happy with the way you are.
Its not about that lala or whoever shit.
I guess , i shouldnt be saying that. Im sorry.
I take back my words , love.
You can just contact with her or whoever cause right now i felt everything change.
And i have no right to stop you from whatever you wanna do.
And right now , i just dont feel the love from you anymore.
It really upsets me , muhd noah. )': *sob sob

2010-02-27T13:42:00.001+08:00

I didnt mean to made you upset , angry or etc.
I dont feel good when i have to lie but infact i believe the truth always hurts but i just wanna be honest to you .
Im sorry for everything and i believe im sucks to you , boy.
You have the right to scold me and im terrible sorry.
I bet im just sucker for love ):
im sorry & imissyou , cheeky boy.

Dear friend ,
Its true sometimes people change and things too. But deep down , i miss the littlest things we share together. The best part was going in the same toilet cubicle and shared stories so that no one hears us except both of us. I miss those days when im so darn fucking close to you. People would talk about us and "heyy , they do look alike ? " even the aunty stall talks about us too.
But , i bet everything change & heyy , you've tried to be a nice friend and i bet you did a great job , love.

2010-02-24T19:42:00.000+08:00

Just came back from school. School was as normal , nothing much.

But until this adorable ♥ was totally eager to meet me in school.

So actually i dont know if adorable ♥ wants to give me something yesterday. And i felt totally bad.

)':

Here's the conversation i had with one of my favourite aunty selling "MEE".

Aunty: effy , ade mataer kat skola nie ay ?

Me: huh ?

Aunty : takde , tadi ade satu laki nie suruh kak letak something kat fridge.

Me : then ?

Aunty : abeh kak tanye laah ,utk sape ?

Me: "listening attentively.

Aunty: si laki tu ckp yg that time satu pompan letak strawberry kat fridge.

Me: ye ke ? nie mesti si noah tau.

Andand i was eager to know what was it. But too bad aunty says until that adorable guy came then i can see what's in there. argh.

Texted adorable ♥ , and we met right infront of that stall.

so yeahh , he took it and gave it to me.

Awww , i was so touched .

and he says " here's a little gift as an apology.

I dont need those stuffs just to ask forgiveness to me .

I just need a sincere words from you & im happy enough.

fyi , ive forgive you since the day we're otp and you seems so remorseful.

Its okay , love.

Im fine and it will heal by itsself.

Again , thankyousomuch for those chocolates , favourite boy.

I dont mind whose you're texting with , either is a girl or someone special but please dont lie to me.

I ♥ you , favourite boy.

Ex boyfriend , please dont be sad cause i'll intend to be more upset.

Please.

2010-02-23T13:29:00.002+08:00

I feel so shitty right now. I dont know what i have to do or think about.
I dont even know if i should be angry or upset..
But thanks lil sis for comforting me yesterday night.
I'll update a proper one when im okay.
Take Care , readers

All i need was a sincere love from you & not lying those stupid shits to me.
Cause i hate people lied.
As what you said to me , nomore hiding anything between you & me.
But instead , you made me in tears yesterday night.
Ive started to trust you , favourite boy but instead ...
hais )':

2010-02-21T15:34:00.002+08:00

I MISS MY FAVOURITE BOY ♥

2010-02-20T16:36:00.002+08:00

I bet Ex boyfriend moving on cause he just left those bracelet on my table and yeah he's being different lately. So yeah , im glad for him cause i know im sucks. I dont deserve his love and whatever shit.
I bet there's someone much more better than me. Ex boyfriend , you should follow what your friends said cause they're your first priority and im just a girl in your life.
For three years im with you and i swear i wont regret of having you.
Appreciate everything that we gone through together.
And i hope things will just be great for you without me.
Take Care , Ex boyfriend.

Been knowing this guy for one month & im glad that ive met him.

He's being too nice to me.

I love the way he treats me as he makes me so special in his life.

I love the way he talks about me to his friends.

I love the way he called me just to hear my voice even its last for 5 minutes.

I love the way he wrote about me in his blog.

All i can say , i love the way you are , favourite boy.

Things are being so hard for us & i dont wish to hurt him in anyway.

Instead , he hold it strong even sometimes it hurts him alot just to make sure that i wont leave him.

I wont leave you , favourite boy.

Im always here with you.

Take my hand and hold it strong & never will you let it go.

Even we are so far from each other , but please have faith on me.

i miss you , boy

2010-02-19T20:24:00.001+08:00

I wasnt in the mood to go school but dearest faridah give me a wakeup call.

So , get my ass out from bed & had my shower.
Never fail to receive "Morning Text " from adorable ♥.
Someone just cant wait to meet me in school (: how sweet.
So , as usual entered class , didnt do anything , instead went out and meet adorable ♥
Had my cross country just now & it turn out AWESOME.
I came out fifth position & first for the team category.
Twin & me deliberately cant wait for the Prize Giving. heee.
Andand adorable ♥ texted me just to say " ily , girlfriend and im proud of you. " awww , how sweet he is (:
Suddenly , it reminds me of Ex boyfriend. hmm ):
Before we go to separate ways , he never fails to kiss me in my forehead.
MUHD NOAH , you're just so sweet & i dont wish for you to go.

People , its my life and i appreciate your concern but im doing what's best for me.
Lack is a nice guy & im glad to have him.
Din was just my past and i dont know if things will going to be the same.
Please , stop spamming my tagboard .
Thankyou , beloved people .

2010-02-18T19:20:00.004+08:00

Im not myself these days. I intend to lock myself in the room. Getting mad easily. Cried over littlest things , not in the mood to go school and going out and etc. Im just fuck up with things around me . No one understands me including my friends.

Im all alone right now. I dont have anyone to understands me even mummy. Even mummy doesnt understand me )':
Will update a proper post when im okay.

why dont you just delete everything about me in your blog since bit by bit you deleting it..
im lost & i dont know what to do.
im sorry if i couldnt be the best for you
)':

2010-02-15T15:44:00.001+08:00

Yesterday went to Shima's house for her engagement . & glad to see those smile on her. Last long with Brother Ayit yeahh. May you guys last till marriage (:

Nothing much happen.
Here's the picture that i took yesterday. Its not that much due to my stupid camera battery running low.

I MISS THAT MONYETBOY ALREADY.

COME BACK ASAP , PLEASE !

2010-02-14T11:00:00.002+08:00

Woke up early just to text adorable ♥ but end up i texted him for awhile cause im super tired.

Received five texts & six missed calls from adorable ♥ when i woke up.

I felt bad for everything. I shouldnt have hurt his feelings in the first place.

I felt bad of everything ive done behind him.

Im sorry , boyfriend. I shouldnt lie to you in the first place.

Im being sucha asshole.

Im being sucha bad girlfriend to you.

Im sorry , i should be with you always before you heading to KL.

Instead , im off bed while you're waiting for my texts or calls.

ARGH! i feel totally bad. I promise i wont do it anymore.

It sads me when i make you cried yesterday night & i didnt meant to.

But please , have faith on me cause im different from other girls that you knew.

Andand please , dont compare me with them.

Yesterday went out with Saifudin as our so called "3 years 1 month".

Everything that he has did to me was so touched.

Thanks for the letters & roses that you gave.

Im so touched .

But , i dont want to give hopes on him and the end i'll hurt him.

I just want you to move on & i know you will.

Its just that you cant bare to see me with someone else.

Likewise , people change and feelings change too.

Everything that i am & what im doing , it happens for a reason &

its not about revenging or whatever shit.

I had a great time with you , honestly.

& it really touched me when you score that goal for me ):

But , i cant lie to myself on and on.

Thanks for accompany-ing buying my MACBETH SHOE.

So , today plan was heading to Bedok. Dearest shima engagement with brother ayit.

meeting Saifudin later in the afternoon and im off home when everything's done.

Cause i promise adorable ♥ that i wont disappoint him when he's away

& i'll keep that in mind.

Seee that picture above..

Please tell him that i miss him so much.

& return home safely and as soon as possible.

i♥♥♥♥ him !

2010-02-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

Its the best feeling when you started off falling in love with someone.

School was as per normal , meeting babygirls in school was great as usual. Never failed to make me laugh with their stupid jokes but im glad to have them in my life.

Ended school at 12pm & straight off to take my so called "Little Gift" .

As usual , called him up to fetch me & we slacked.

Adorable ♥ was so speechless of what i did today.

Heyy , all i did was just to see those smile on your face & to prove to you that im not going to disappoint you. There's moreeeeeeeeeee surprises to commmmeee (:

Adorable ♥ 's going soon & fuck shit im going to miss him badly.

So , i must keep myself busy just to not missing him that much.

Sunday - Ex boyfriend's brother engagement.

Monday - Outing with Geeks ( not to be comfirmed )

Tuesday - ♥ 's back.

Wednesday - MY FIRST MONTH WITH ♥

Baby ♥ ,

all i can say im deeply in love with you.

Even something or someone tried to makes us fall apart , just bare in mind that i wont leave you.

Cause i just couldnt afford losing someone like you.

You're being too nice to me.

You're being too sweet to me.

& lastly , you're in love deeply with me.

Andand i just wouldnt let everything falls apart that easily.

Let's make a great one for you this time.

& i try my best to be the best person that you could've imagined , ♥

The best feeling was hearing you voice saying out , "iloveyou , effy"

2010-02-11T10:17:00.001+08:00

I

I felt lost / pissed / fuckup / upset / disappointed on myself but i know out of all this feelings i felt whenever adorable ♥ beside me , i just felt everything's gonna be alright even deep down im way upset.
Yesterday i felt bad. I didnt mean to be so harsh on adorable ♥.
Yes , ive started to love him more and more cause he's just being too nice and understand me well.
I dont wish to let him go.
I dont wish to hurt him.
I dont wish to be a bad person to him.
I dont wish to lie to him anymore.
All i want is to have him with all my heart.
It sounds weird to me as its the first time ive fall in love with someone else deeply for about 3 years.
Things are just the way that i want him to be.
I dont asked him to be perfect cause no one is perfect. All i want him is to loved me dearly for who i am.
The best part was , hearing his voice saying "iloveyou , effy."
Baby ♥ ,
im sorry if whatever ive said or do makes you upset or angry. i try to be the besti can that you couldnt imagine.
ANDAND i forget to bring some strawberries for adorable ♥ that ive kept abit for him.ARGH.
And meeting this cute guy of mine later on due to accompany him to take his passport.
He's going to be away on this Sunday & im so going to miss him.
let him return safely to Singapore as soon as possibble , please.
Im going to miss him badly ):

2010-02-09T20:52:00.001+08:00

Didnt update blog for a few days due to im busy with stuffs.

So Last Saturday , Celebrating Lil sis birthday and I had a double date on that day.

Ive used to have double date with Twin.

But now , things change & im missing those days when im closed to her.

But whatever it is , i still loved her as My Twin (:

So back to the topic..

Seriously , it was way AWESOME !

We had our lunch at PASTAMANIA due to im craving for it.

Adorable ♥ was so cute when ive ordered for him Spicy meal.

Yes , Effy loves to bully Lacko (:

And adorable ♥ bought those anklet & bracelet that ive been wanting.

Thankyou so much , Muhd Noah.

Bought our Tickets for " Tooth Fairy" , & i tell ya its the funniest stories that ive watched.

The best part about the show was Ryan Sheckler did act too. & i was like ARGHHH.

Only adorable ♥ knows how i reacts it .

Ended show , window shopping, slacked awhile , took pictures and rushed to meet daddy as he wanna bought lil sis's new phone.

Andand this cutest guy of mine said ,

baby , i wish you dont have to go off early and blablabla (:

How sweet he is .

I had an awesome time with this adorable guy & im looking forward our next outing.

SUNDAY.

Celebrating Lil Sis , Baby Sis 's birthday at the same time.

& this time with family and mum's side and i really had a great time too with them.

& ex boyfriend did come over too but yeah we didnt talk much together.

I dont know what's up with him so yeah . hais.

Afterall , I had a great time.

Yesterday woke up early due to meeting adorable♥

Our plan failed due to....

I dont have to said in here (:

But , i had a great time whenever he's there beside me cause he never fail to make me smile.

School was as usual just now but adorable ♥ didnt attend to school.

I missed him so much (:

Recently , met ex boyfriend.

Yes , i did felt upset cause seeing the way he is right now.

He really try hie very best to win my heart back.

But i dont know.

Why cant we just be friends ?

Cause i dont want to get hurt anymore.

And in fact likewise ive said ,

I wont leave Muhd Noah or hurt him ever.

PICTURES.

Saw that Green Watch . He says that watch was his Heart cause he bought it with his own effort

& now ever since ive wear it , i bring his heart whenever i go (:

You're the sweetest stranger that ive ever met , ♥

2010-02-06T10:42:00.002+08:00

Yesterday didnt attend to lesson due to we're late for lesson.

So , had my breakfast with Babygirls & searched for lil sis's present (:

Didnt get to meet adorable♥ yesterday & that silly guy kept saying " IMISSYOU"

Im still here laa not far far away right ? hee.

So , received a text from adorable ♥ & it upsets me for awhile. I dont blame him for telling me

infact im glad he told me.

I dont even expect someone would called me that.

"IM A SLUT"

So yeahh , ive to accept it cause all that from people's mouth and i cant be bothered.

They're just jealous cause im leading a good life right now.

But if yes i am a SLUT , i would go around & let the guys fuck me , touch me ! But , i know i dont do such things cause i do have my own pride (:

You people are just boring people whom go around and spread false stories about me.

Thanks adorable ♥ for still holding on to me.

Thanks for believing on me & understands me.

You're sucha amazing stranger that ive met .

♥♥♥♥

To lil sis :

happy 13th birthday , babylove. May your wishes come true & be a better person in the future.

I'll always loved you , lil sis even though we used to quarrel everytime over littlest thing.

But heyy , no matter what happens , im glad to have a lil sis like you , love.

Let us celebrate your birthday today with a memorable one this time , alright ?

Effy ♥ Youuu.

Here's a few pictures with Babygirls. More in FACEBOOK (:

2010-02-06T10:29:00.001+08:00

2010-02-04T10:01:00.001+08:00

Been busy for the past few days & much had happened to me recently.
I dont know what's in me & i dont kknow how to start with it.
I dont want to lie to ex boyfriend or adorable ♥ in a same time.
All i can say , im sorry.

Ex boyfriend ,
I apprieciate those love that we build for about three years. I didnt even feel regret when im with you all these along. But things change , sometimes. Ive still loved you like how it used to but i just cant keep lying to myself. I dont wanna things to happen again & again and i dont want to be an idiot again , love.
I dont know how to say all these in front of you cause i cant bare to see the tears and etc.
im sorry. Im doing these not because i have someone else or whoever.
Im doing what's best for us. & i believe that you'll find someone better enough for me. I gotta move on with life this time , love. hais.
Hearing your tears on the phone makes me cant even say a word.

Im sorry , adorable ♥ if i ever hurt you in anyway.I didnt mean it. Im just too stress up about how things going on to me. No one understands what's in me.
Thanks for always been there for me & i apprieciate those littlest thing i had with you .
Thanks for understands me even ive hurt you or upsets you.
Yes , i know i dont deserve your sincerely love cause ive always caused trouble.
Im sorry , once again.
So last week meeting this adorable guy at Tampines. Slacked & as usual its awesome (:
ohh yes , will be meeting this guy again on MONDAY. ~shhhhhhhhhhh .
Met adorable ♥ just now cause he wanted to give me something & yes i do really appreciate it alot (:

you dont have to leave me , adorable ♥

2010-01-30T12:52:00.000+08:00

IM SORRRY. I DIDNT MEAN TO HURT YOU , Adorable ♥

2010-01-28T10:03:00.004+08:00

Im bored and im in school right now (:
Yesterday didnt attend afternoon lesson due to meeting adorable ♥ at 1pm.
So , slacked awhile and something happens that really upsets me.
But still , adorable ♥ made my day by buying me chocolate that im craving for (:
Thank you , Muhd Noah.
Off from yishun around 1.30 and off to Lavendar.
I had a great time with adorable ♥ cause we laughed about littlest things non- stop.
After done with the passport thingy , we slacked and off home.
Adorable ♥ wanting to sent me home but i insist (:
Reached safely home at six plus.
Gy topup uppppp laaaa , bodoh ! (: hahahaha.
Didnt attend to afternoon lesson later on due to wanting to settle kurjen's problems.
& might be meeting adorable ♥ after that.

I was amazed by your three missed calls from you at 12am plus.
Cause you never called me during that hour just to talk on the phone with me.
hais. Why now you try to prove to me that im always there in your mind ?
Why when im with you, you doesnt do that? hais.
How i wish you knew , ex boyfriend. ):

Let me spend the day with you before you're away cause
i know im going to miss you , adorable ♥

2010-01-26T18:23:00.000+08:00

I love my babygirls more than anything.

And the worst part was seeing that fucking jerk in school. ARGH.

Suddenly , i dont have any appetite to eat just now.

Only twin knows why (:

Planning was to go home with that adorable ♥ but he have soccer in the afternoon.

So yeahh , went home with babygirls instead.

Tomorrow i need to be in school as early as i can (:

And yes , will be meeting that adorable guy after school as he needs to do his passport.

Im so going to miss him when he's away on fourteen february.

Likewise twin said , we dont celebrate Valentine's Day.

Instead on that particular date , i'll be heading to Shima's house as she really force me to go.

Congrats hunney. Last long with Ayit yeah (:

Seeing ex boyfriend with a new girl makes me wanna cry yesterday.

But somehow , i gotta be strong (:

cause i know you'll never leave me , adorable ♥

2010-01-25T18:11:00.005+08:00

School was as usual. Nothing much to update . But i have this girl name Lyna in my school . Whenever i walked past her or whatever shit , she'll always looked at me. Lesbiann ayy kau ? hahahah.

So told babygirls about that . What i did was just now , pretend to walk past her and yes twin did realised she did looked at me while i was walking. I know what's the reason anyway ?

So basically , she was contacting this Matrep of mine , Faizal and she gets to know that i used to be with that faizal . So i just dont understand why she kept looking at me ? Jealous ? ohh please , you can have him cs i dont need a guy like him (:

we didnt attend the first lesson due to we're so restless. So , slacked at usual place and idk why in a sudden , i just felt like crying. boohooo !

E called just now when im inside the class & i was like freaking mad at him. Bodohh kauuu . hmph !

Ended school around three and something happen again.

Friend , i dont wish to trust you nor that close to you anymore like how i treat the others.

Cause , you dissapointed me by lying and your words you can just save it for yourself. I dont wish to interfere your life anymore.

Met Irahh after school since she needs help . imma a good friend . heh.

Settle things & off to meet E , and thanks for accompany me buying clothes just now.

I had a great time with this bunch of people. Thanks for making my life so lively (:

didnt have the chance to talk or even see that adorable ♥ in school.
And yes adorable ♥ scolded me for something cause i do things that he dont like ): hmph.
but i know for a meanwhile only. heh (:
and yes he owns me TWO chocolate.

Saw something and i was like smiling to myself. Im glad enough that i made a good one this time.
And what i meant was leaving him forever. Cause he wouldnt change at all.
So people out there , trust me i wont be turning back this time.
But im proud of myself cause for what ive seen , i didnt feel upset , pissed or angry instead im happy.

Because im glad he's moving on like i am right now. I cant lie my feelings sometimes , i do missed him & i will intend to day dream about him , the littlest things we spent together and stuff.

But heyy , i need time (:

and today my stupid maid cooked his favourite dish. It reminds me of him. He will intend to eat it more than two times in a day ):

God , please give me strength to overcome all these. I dont wish to hate him and i dont wish him to be in my mind every second , minute & hour.

and i want you to know that im glad that you've been always there for me , adorable ♥
and you'll get your strawberry kiss sooooonnn , ♥

2010-01-24T10:14:00.003+08:00

Booooooooooooooo !

Yesterday was totally awesome though kinda of tiring.

But still , received a text from him never stop me from smiling (:

He's just being a sweetest thang.

♥♥♥♥

Heyy ,

deleting the post about him & i think i dont have to post about him anymore.

Cause that adorable guy really gave me hope to move on in life and not turning back ever again.

I should thanks to him for being sucha wonderful person.

Ohh yes , im so going to have a date with him soooooonnnnnnnn when my payday's out.

YAY-NESS !

2010-01-23T15:26:00.001+08:00

Meeting this drummer guy yesterday right after school .

At first , meeting him was darn awkward since we ive broke up with him.

But after so long , i managed to treat him as normal.

But whatever it is , things are just way fine between me & him. I mean in a way of friends.

Likewise , i dont want to be in a relationship for the time being cause i just need a break of my own.

See , that picture above..

The drummer was holding around one thousand three , i guess.

And this what he said to me

" You , jom kite lari , duet khawin!"

hahahaha.

And the way his mom acts was really funny. heh.

Off home around four plus.

Yesterday , school was abit slacked , i think.

Hasif did tell me something about this jerk & i was like WTF.

Yes , i have an affair with him before but that was awhile.

Im angry because he's like a jerk.

Only me & hasif knows about it. So yeahh. (:

Yeah , feeling angry for just a moment cause this sweetest guy calm me down.

Awww.. he's just being so adorable but one thing i hate about him for sure his STUBBOR-NESS.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Cousin ♥ called & asked me out today.

Sorry cousin , im not in the mood to go out due to i have something on in the evening.

Promise , we'll set a date when my payday's out.

IMISSYOU , COUSIN.

Someone really asked me if i were to be his valentine's date on 14 February.

I insist cause i dont want to have a date on that day.

All i wanna be on that date wwas to be with my friends and not date or whoever.

Cause from now , i dont need one.

2010-01-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

School was super great when ive started to talk to him (:
Didnt attend to ONG lesson instead kurzen & i slacked outside with adam and khalis.
So yeah , it really awesome when having this bunch of friends around me.
Something happened just now in school.
We did sit & talk to this friend of mine. I dont mean to be so harsh on her.
Its like she's totally freaking jerk. That's all i could describe on her.
So , things settled nicely & i did talk to kurzen about something and im glad nothing serious happened.
Heyy , i loved my babygirls more than anything (:

2010-01-19T18:48:00.004+08:00

I loved Ryan Sheckler . He's simply gorgeous.

How i wish i have a boyfriend like him . Awww *

Thought of not going to school just now due to something really bad had happened to me.

But dearest idah taking the effort to wake me up almost everyday.

I just hate to be in this kind of situation. I swear it reallly killing me. I've tried very hard to avoid it but things keep coming & coming. After one problems settled , and here it goes another one come. Darn !

Im so disappointed with ex boyfriend.

He ever said to me that he wont disappointed me anymore but those are just words that came out from his mouth.

But whatever it is , im totally done with him.

Yes people , i do really loved him alot.

People kept saying that i'll keep coming back to him. Its not me who decide it. Its fate.

His love are just a drug to me that im addicted with and i just couldnt resist it.

But , i have to made the best for myself this time

I deserved to be happy like anybody else too.

Ex boyfriend , if you're reading this ; how i wish you could see how much i loved you all along. Even you made me mad , sometimes , i try to endured it. But im sorry , i gotta go my own way this time even though that's the hardest thing i have to do. Im upset of what ive heard yesterday.

But , i believe sooner or later , i'll get over with everything and lead my life somewhere far away from you.

all i can say ; im still loving you , ex boyfriend.

I gotta move on and so are you , alright ?

Take Care , ex boyfriend.

2010-01-18T18:33:00.001+08:00

School was as per normal . Today , planned to reached school early but we're late for fifteen minutes (: So yeah , we never ever gonna be punctual as what they want us to be . hee.

Reached school & the first thing i have to meet was , Mr ShaSha due to some problems that i made. & yes thank god , he do gave me a second chance. And i promise i wont take it as advantage.

Getting pissed off with that stupididiotassholefucking ONG. I just dont seem why he reacts like that. He loved to waste time and the best part was when he's not even teaching or explaining to us instead he just read the topics to us.

Hello ?! Might as well you just let us read & you just sit there and shut your gap up cause you totally wasting our damn time in class.

& that's the reason everytime i kept going in and out during your lesson.

Ended school early & intention of meeting ex boyfriend but bestfriend ayie called and asked for a meet up. So yeah , off to meet bestfriend & as usual we talk stupid stuffs , gossiping , sharing problems and most importantly he never failed to make me smile.

Fears that if i cry , that tears wont stop raining down.

2010-01-17T09:51:00.001+08:00

Its been three years im with him.
Its been a wonderful love stories i had with him.
but i guess im done here.
I dont want to hurt myself again & again .
Yes , i really do loved him & leaving him was the hardest thing i wanna do.
But where were you when i needed you the most ?
You never change and i dont think i should continue it.
Yes , im being patience all along.
The lies that you told me , the cheats that you done to me , the tears that you made me.
Ive been patience enough , love.
But you taking all my kindness as a advantage.
People was right . I shouldnt have been too nice with you .
Yes , i made mistake ever before. But did i made an attempt to change for the good of us ?
I bet , i did.
But WHY CANT YOU JUST SEE IN IT ?
I dont know what else i have to do . I bet this decision i made , its the right thing for me.
I dont blame anyone else. I bet its my fault.
Being too nice to people & forgive and forget that easily.
And now , i just have to be MEAN to people.

AND LASTLY , I MISS COUSIN.
When will i get to meet you , huh ?!

Im done here , people .
Will update a proper post when i already settle things down.
(:

2010-01-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

Really felt bad yesterday . Thanks iqah for the advices & chill me down . And thanks twin .
I dont know who i have to turn to if not them. I just loved my babygirls. You're the bestest person ive known.
Im not being a narrow-minded or jump into conclusion . i dont want to elaborate here .
Let him himself figure it out why am i mad ,upset , pissed .
Sometimes , i just felt like backing off cause im tired to play your games .

2010-01-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

I felt bad , upset , angry , pissed right now. I dont know what else i wanna do .
I need bestfriend ayie to talk to. i miss bestfriend ayie & irah .
What else you wants from me ?
What you want , i'll try me best to have it. But this i get from you in return .
Im tired of playing with your stupid games.
You'll never change the way you are & im really sick of it.
Its so annoying of you to have her on your MSN list back and you have the cheek to asked me to have an outing with her ? How would i felt , saifudin ? then after that what , din ?
Have the cheek to have her number ? what more else you want in your life from me ?!
Im sorry , if you think im being an ego. YOUR WRONG.
You're the one whom being an ego. You never think of what people's feeling.
All you think of yourself.
Thats you , mohammad saifudin mohamed.

2010-01-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL WAS TOTALLY SUCKS.
I FELT SO ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE SCOLDED ME

2010-01-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

♥ ,
Ever since I started to gave up myself with someone from the past, in a sudden a boy whom i hate the most was with me, helping me in an indirect way in getting myself up again from that stupid idiot heartache. In fact I'm coping well enough with him right now ever since ive met him. I am feeling grateful whenever he's there with me all the times.He is my one and only one , hands down , no question asked. No , like seriously , he'sthe one i could and actually need to envision my future ahead. Everyday i fall more and more for him and it feels extremely amazing. He's the person i want to spend forever with . The person i want to go on road trips with , kiss under the covers , make fun of people with , whisper on to his ears and say " I LOVE YOU" , go on adventures with , shop at random places with and show everyone that we're meant to be with. We have been through so much. Ive cried alot but ive also smiled alot. Ive been sad , but ive been happier more than that. My heart has been bruised , crushed and then fixed all by him. Which still surprises me to this date , we still keep holding on.
He & I havent been too perfect , but our happy moments were beyong perfect. All i need in life to be happy , is him. He knows what to say to keep me smiling and laughing all the time no matter what kind of mood im in .Honestly , ive never felt this way about anyone before . No one can compare to him or the way he makes me feel . This boy is nothing short of amazing and although perfection doesnt exist in solely one object , he's by far the closest thing there is to this called "perfection" in my eyes. He is the type of guy i felt like i can tell anything to and genuinely give my trust to , which is a huge step for me since its rare someone ever gains my trust . But all i know , he's worth it . He treats me like no onther has before . He cherishes me , wants me , needs me , holds me , kisses me and everything the way no one else has before. I love the way he looks at me . He gives me the best feelings ever. Feelings that i cant describe . He's the only one who actually cares & also the last i think of before i go to sleep. Im glad i knew him for the beginning and now he's all mine now. I couldnt be more grateful for the 13 January 2007. That;s the day he came into my life and changed everything in me. My heart will always beat in the same rhytm as yours and it will always belongs to you . He's my second half , the who completes me .
Happy three years anniversary , ♥
and Happy 20th birthday .

Lastly , thanks for the wonderful treat at Swensens. I had a great times with you even though something that makes us upset for awhile.

2010-01-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

school was fine as per normal. But something happened in school just now.
Was walking down to class & someone shouted "butoh uh effy , kau tinggal kan aku ! "
Obviously , its him who shouted it . i dont care what you wanna say or whatever shit.
Everything happens for a reason and i'll always kept saying that to you (:
I dont want to go school nymore. School sucks , anyway.
I need to dye my hair back and i dont want to. ARGH !
stupid rules & stupid school.

cheating on your loved ones wasnt the right thang to do cause end up karma comes back to you & you cant simply blame he/she.

2010-01-05T10:02:00.001+08:00

First day to school was awesome great with geeks. Surprised the birthday girl with a cake . & things went out smoothly (:
Chewwwniie didnt bring her UNO thangy & i bet class was too boring for us without that all time favourite game of us -,-
Ended school at three and off to meet ♥ .
Planning was to have our lunch at Pastamania. But i have my mood swings in a sudden.
Maybe im just too way tired and i didnt get enough sleep. That's why.
Instead , off to Northpoint to search for Chewwwniie's present.
Thought of buying her a wallet. But the choice i wanna buy wasnt there. hmph.
So , bought her a bracelet with a her name on it (:

People , ive deleted some of my contact list except of family , geeks & ♥ .
So , if you're texting me , do leave a name yeah .
Im doing this cause i love my boyfriend alot.
THANK-YOU VERY THE MUCH..

im happy with what i have. I know we do have something on before. And i know you managed to get into my life. But i believe you're not the one.
I know ive been harsh to guys including you.
I know we're in the same school & its hard for you. But let me tell you this , its not worth for you to wait for me or whatever shit cause i swear to myself i wont be coming back for you cause ive been too much in love with my boyfriend and i bet everybody knows that .
im sorry if im being rude or heartless. Im doing that cause im avoiding you whenever i see you around. And i promise i wont be giving you guys hope anymore cause i believe end up it will hurt both of us and i dont want that to happen.
I apprieciate of what i have now in life. Whether its happiness or sadness , i thank to god.
Its called life , though.
I try to ease my anger and not being a narrow-minded person.
Something really makes me uneasy but yeah , im following what my bestfriend mummy said.
" Let everything heal itself though it hurts alot cause no point of arguing if that person arent understands you. "
That's what im doing right now.
♥ , i hope you change someday. i know its been quite long im with you and yet im still here tolerating all your nonsense. Im just hoping you realised it someday.

PS : bestfriend , im sorry for saying this . i hate you.

2010-01-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

Im just blind.

Im just stupid.

Being a narrow-minded.

I dont realised there's actually alot of people behind me, supporting me.

I dont realised i do have a friend that cares for me even we quarrelled about stupid thang.

She's the only one who can really motivate me.

She's the only one who knows how i felt.

Called her up , and i just felt relieved.

iloveyousomuch , girlfriend.

Thanks for everything.

Looove , listen.

i gotta say what's on my mind.

Something about us doesnt seems right these days.

Life keeps getting in the way.

Whenever we try , somehow the plan is always rearranged.

It's so hard to say , but i've gotta do what's best for us.

You'll be okayy , love.

Ive got to move on ,

i just dont belong in your life anymore.

We might find our place in this world someday ,

but atleast for now , i gotta go my own way.

I dont wanna leave it all behind.

But i get my hopes up , and i watch them fall every time.

What about us ?

What about everything we have been through ?

What about trust ?

You know i never wanted to hurt you.

What about me ?

What should i do ?

I gotta leave but i'll miss you.

Im leaving today and i gotta do what's best for both of us.

iloveyou , ♥

2010-01-01T12:48:00.002+08:00

Goodbye 2009. A lot of memories on it .
And here's 2010 and i hope ive achieved what i want for my own.
Without fail , ive always celebrate it with ♥ but this year nahh.
Planning meeting ayie & gf due to they celebrating at Sentosa. But bestfriend irah called.
And yeah , im being a good friend. Prefer being with bestfriend when she needs someone to rely on rather than going party tha wasting my time & money.
Instead , celebrating with bestfriend irah at home. Its a great thang to do.
We had alot of laughters , , movie marathon , sharing something that onnly between both of us , and etc at 2am plus.
And thanks mummy for buying prata for us due to we darn hungry (:
But afterall i had a great coutdown this year with bestfriend. Thanks bestfriend for cheering me up.

Its hard to find someone that really accept the way you are
People who can rely on , People who you could care & cherish .
Out of my teenage life , i have met someone that i really treasuree.
But , things are just not what my expectations.

When everything just feels right when you're in the person's embrace. Its after i had a bad day and that person is the first person i want to talk to and when i have a good news or are excited about something , that person is the first thing i want to tell.
Its waking up and having that someone as the very first thought in the morning.
And when i to go bed at night , your the last thing on my mind. And when both of us are together , the time goes by too fast and i never want to go.
Love is when no one else can hurt more , but no one can , make me happier at the same time.

2009-12-31T00:35:00.002+08:00

And right now , im totally down. Even someone that i loved so much dont even understands how i felt.
I dont know how to put into words. im speechless.
Things changed for me now.
Im just freaking tired when you made me cry every night.

Happy birthday beloved cousin Farhannah. You're the bestest cousin i had. You been there when i need you. You been there when im in tears. You been there when i need someone the most. Ive remembered we never ever quarrel over things even smallest things (:Yeah , just because we loved each other , right ? hee .May your wishes come true , cousin & success in life.Choose your loved ones wisely. go for the one whom loved you and not the one that you loved .Whatever happens in future later on , i'll behind you and support you , hunney.Loved you alot & i missed you so much (:

2009-12-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

Thanks for being such a wonderful person when you really seeks me back.
Im tired of leading all this shits.
You kept doing all this to me and you think im not tired of it ?
Before saying something , look yourself in the mirror.
Sometimes , i hate you for putting me in tears every night.

2009-12-26T13:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday meeting ♥ was great.Slacked at his house with dearest family and in sudden something really shocked me. Cant really elaborate here so yeah.. (:
Off from ♥ place around 8 plus and we're off to meet the Esprit Clan at Pasir Ris.
As usual , they played Takraw every friday.
Our transport of the day was bicycle and really i swear that we're really cute on it . heh.
So today working at 3-6 and im hoping that ♥ would fetch me today.

PS : i dont really like the way your attitude is. Try to figure out what im trying to say in here ♥

2009-12-25T13:29:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas to Everyone (:

am feeling excited today cause im meeting ♥ today. I get to spent the whole entire day with him.

Maybe cycling at East Coast or just slack at his house due to i missed his family (:

PS : congrats to dearest shima & ayit . Im happy for you guys . You're the sweetest person ive met.

February fourteen is gonna be your greatest day (:.

Ilovebothof you.

2009-12-24T13:54:00.001+08:00

Yesterday , i felt bad for not coming to work. Ive received 4 missed calls from Sofia. 3 text messages from Farhan and 4 voicemails from workplace. Im just too tired to carry on but thinking wisely i need $$$ for my own needs. Fuck shit laa to them. I cant even have a break since im working the whole fucking day ! hmph !
So , working today . At six - ten pm.
School's re-opens soon and im getting lazier. And yes this year i did badly due to my attendance very poor.
gonna back up (:
And , im badly missing the geeks esp TWIN.

I dont know what to do and i dont know what to say.
you never change at all. Those words that that you say are just out from your mouth and you didnt mean it at all. Your words are not meant to be true . It happens again and nothing change.
Sometimes , im getting tired to be in relationship. Cause it will lead me sadness ,upset , angry and sometimes it leads me happiness.
I know no one is perfect at all. But i believe in changes.
How i wish you could loved me like how the day you fall for me for the first time.
But somehow , i know my happiness lies on you.

2009-12-23T12:59:00.000+08:00

woke up early in the morning just to accompany mum to lil sis's new school . I had a great time with mummy and we do talk alot of stuffs together.
Yesterday , was freaking tired as im working the whole day without having break. Haiya.
So , today working afternoon shift but im not coming to work due to im freaking tired and daddy wanna treat Pastamania as im craving it.
Payday quiiicccckkk , pleassssseeee !
I gotta go.
wanna watched "Another Cinderella Story".
Saifudin in love with selena gomez ?
Since when you interested with all this stuffs huh ? heee.
Will update a proper one when im free , folks.

2009-12-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

I told you once that im not a good one and you being stubborn.
And im sorry i gotta go cause i cant lie to my feelings , humpka.
And one thing for sure , im doing a right thing of leaving you cause you're a jerk , babe. (: And one thing im glad enough cause , ive dumped you first , honey ! heh. Best of luck in your life , humpka .

So , things turn out great with love. Im glad enough you fall back in my life again. Maybe , our love are just too way strong enough for both of us.
Love , from now on i will give all my attention to you this time.

2009-12-18T12:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday met friends & faridah and even dyla. I missed her so much. So yeah , played UNO , webcaming and talk craps.
Off from that place around 6.30 plus due to im working at 7pm.
Workplace darn packed. Fucking busy and im so exhausted.
Ended late yesterday. And as usual slacked as usual place before headed home.
Surprisily , He was there too with Esprit clan. So yeah , act as if nothing happenned. But i can swear that it really killing me deeply. ): hais.
Reached home around 12 plus , showered myself up & off to bed.

Something happened and i myself didnt notice it. I dont blame anyone else or whoever. And i know i wont regret of having this decision. I gotta find my happiness and i know i deserve that. It takes time for everything.
But all i can say thanks for being such a wonderful person.

Second post of the day :
Went out and met him. And i just dont feel good at all.
I dont want to hurt you in the first place and im scared that i will.
I dont want to give you hope or whatever shit that makes you really fall for me.
I dont want things to happen again and again. I dont want to lie to myself.
I dont want to lie what's in my heart all along.
I just can see how sincerity you are towards me but sometimes every night i'll cry cause i dont want to hurt you , boy.
You're nice to me but i cant loved you the way i used to loved mohammad saifudin. Darn ! why is it hard for me to forget about him . FUCK.
I think its better off for me that we're close friends.
Seriously , i cant regards you as my boyfriend.
Its so fast of you asking me to be your gf ? You didnt think that can i move on just like that ? Yes , i know i have to cause its not worth for me. He didnt even think of me and so why should i ? Yes , i know that.
Its been too long im with him , we shared our ups and downs together and making love since two years twelve month. Its not easy for me , babe.
Please understand me and my situation. I have enough of problems already. Please dont add in more. Just give me time to heal everything up and i swear i will. And let time decide what's best for us alright , babe ?
Thanks for making my day just now. Apprieciate it.

2009-12-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty dumpty had a great fall (:

Today's was great . Woke up 6 am in the morning and off to airport .
Im going to miss you , friend.
I had fun with my colleagues and even my dearest manager.
So , had our breakfast and Sofia followed me home.
Had our nap first before heading to punggol to have my interviewed there.
So , woke up around one plus and dearest sofia just made chaos in my house while my baby sister busily sleeping. mulut kau pe besaaar ! hahahah.
Took cab there & there goes my interview and blablabla.
Headed to bugis to meet the stupid friends of mine. Window shopping and yes finally i get an ice cream that im craving for.
While eating it , i kept silence for awhile. It reminds of him.
Being silence for sucha a long time while the others busily laughing away.
But something really cracks me up. Thanks ay. hahaha (:
Camwhoreed with them and off home.
Argh , i just need my payday asap !
i gotta lots of things to deal with.

- Pay my first bill.
- Ice Skating.
- Pay bestfriend 20 bucks.
- Buy EDC tops.
- Roxy bag.
- Cousin's birthday coming up.
- Vans shoes

Tomorrow working afternoon shift.
And i need a rest right now.
update soon , readers & pictures will be up soon.

Insecurable

2009-12-15T13:08:00.002+08:00

daddy ,
You're just a person with no feelings at all. i dont like the way you treat grandma and my dearest uncles. I know ive been a spoil brat to you but please dont compared me with my siblings .
Do you ever thought what i want in life ?
Do you ever thought of people's feelings ?
Talked till late night with dearest grandma & when i heard everything that grandma complained to me , i felt like slapping my maid & daddy . FUCK.
I dont expect they treat grandma and uncle till like that.
Seriously ,i hate you daddy for doing those shits to them.
Cried for hours yesterday and thanks grandma for calming me down.
Grandma ,
I know you've hurt all these while. I know you've been keeping all these to yourself. I promise you , grandma. No matter what happens in future later on , ill be by your side .
I wont be a spoil brat anymore to you. Ilysm , grandma.

Dear Diary,

I'm not who you think I am.

Not smart,
Not beautiful,
Not funny,
Not talkative,
I don't tell good stories,
I complain too much,
I get whiny,
I'm annoying,
I'm noisy, (not in a good way)
I'm ugly,
I'm insensitive to other ppl's feelings,
I cry too much,
I get pmssy all the time,
I'm not hot enough,
I'm too skinny,
I'm not perfect,
I curse too much,
I'm rude,
I'm not rich,
I spend unnecessarily,
I boss around,
I have lots of negative 'energy',
I lie,
I don't believe you.
I'm just telling the truth.

How I feel about myself.

i need someone to talk to that really understands my outside and inside.
im badly upset right now.