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Thursday, December 31, 2009 12:35 AM
♥ And right now , im totally down. Even someone that i loved so much dont even understands how i felt. I dont know how to put into words. im speechless. Things changed for me now. Im just freaking tired when you made me cry every night.
Monday, December 28, 2009 10:01 AM
♥Thanks for being such a wonderful person when you really seeks me back. Im tired of leading all this shits. You kept doing all this to me and you think im not tired of it ? Before saying something , look yourself in the mirror. Sometimes , i hate you for putting me in tears every night.
Saturday, December 26, 2009 1:41 PM
♥  Yesterday meeting ♥ was great.Slacked at his house with dearest family and in sudden something really shocked me. Cant really elaborate here so yeah.. (: Off from ♥ place around 8 plus and we're off to meet the Esprit Clan at Pasir Ris. As usual , they played Takraw every friday. Our transport of the day was bicycle and really i swear that we're really cute on it . heh. So today working at 3-6 and im hoping that ♥ would fetch me today. PS : i dont really like the way your attitude is. Try to figure out what im trying to say in here ♥
Friday, December 25, 2009 1:29 PM
♥  Merry Christmas to Everyone (: am feeling excited today cause im meeting ♥ today. I get to spent the whole entire day with him. Maybe cycling at East Coast or just slack at his house due to i missed his family (: PS : congrats to dearest shima & ayit . Im happy for you guys . You're the sweetest person ive met. February fourteen is gonna be your greatest day (:. Ilovebothof you.
Thursday, December 24, 2009 1:54 PM
♥Yesterday , i felt bad for not coming to work. Ive received 4 missed calls from Sofia. 3 text messages from Farhan and 4 voicemails from workplace. Im just too tired to carry on but thinking wisely i need $$$ for my own needs. Fuck shit laa to them. I cant even have a break since im working the whole fucking day ! hmph ! So , working today . At six - ten pm. School's re-opens soon and im getting lazier. And yes this year i did badly due to my attendance very poor. gonna back up (: And , im badly missing the geeks esp TWIN. I dont know what to do and i dont know what to say. you never change at all. Those words that that you say are just out from your mouth and you didnt mean it at all. Your words are not meant to be true . It happens again and nothing change. Sometimes , im getting tired to be in relationship. Cause it will lead me sadness ,upset , angry and sometimes it leads me happiness. I know no one is perfect at all. But i believe in changes. How i wish you could loved me like how the day you fall for me for the first time. But somehow , i know my happiness lies on you.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009 12:59 PM
♥woke up early in the morning just to accompany mum to lil sis's new school . I had a great time with mummy and we do talk alot of stuffs together. Yesterday , was freaking tired as im working the whole day without having break. Haiya. So , today working afternoon shift but im not coming to work due to im freaking tired and daddy wanna treat Pastamania as im craving it. Payday quiiicccckkk , pleassssseeee ! I gotta go. wanna watched "Another Cinderella Story". Saifudin in love with selena gomez ? Since when you interested with all this stuffs huh ? heee. Will update a proper one when im free , folks.
Sunday, December 20, 2009 12:00 AM
♥I told you once that im not a good one and you being stubborn. And im sorry i gotta go cause i cant lie to my feelings , humpka. And one thing for sure , im doing a right thing of leaving you cause you're a jerk , babe. (: And one thing im glad enough cause , ive dumped you first , honey ! heh. Best of luck in your life , humpka . So , things turn out great with love. Im glad enough you fall back in my life again. Maybe , our love are just too way strong enough for both of us. Love , from now on i will give all my attention to you this time.
Friday, December 18, 2009 12:36 PM
♥Yesterday met friends & faridah and even dyla. I missed her so much. So yeah , played UNO , webcaming and talk craps. Off from that place around 6.30 plus due to im working at 7pm. Workplace darn packed. Fucking busy and im so exhausted. Ended late yesterday. And as usual slacked as usual place before headed home. Surprisily , He was there too with Esprit clan. So yeah , act as if nothing happenned. But i can swear that it really killing me deeply. ): hais. Reached home around 12 plus , showered myself up & off to bed. Something happened and i myself didnt notice it. I dont blame anyone else or whoever. And i know i wont regret of having this decision. I gotta find my happiness and i know i deserve that. It takes time for everything. But all i can say thanks for being such a wonderful person. Second post of the day : Went out and met him. And i just dont feel good at all. I dont want to hurt you in the first place and im scared that i will. I dont want to give you hope or whatever shit that makes you really fall for me. I dont want things to happen again and again. I dont want to lie to myself. I dont want to lie what's in my heart all along. I just can see how sincerity you are towards me but sometimes every night i'll cry cause i dont want to hurt you , boy. You're nice to me but i cant loved you the way i used to loved mohammad saifudin. Darn ! why is it hard for me to forget about him . FUCK. I think its better off for me that we're close friends. Seriously , i cant regards you as my boyfriend. Its so fast of you asking me to be your gf ? You didnt think that can i move on just like that ? Yes , i know i have to cause its not worth for me. He didnt even think of me and so why should i ? Yes , i know that. Its been too long im with him , we shared our ups and downs together and making love since two years twelve month. Its not easy for me , babe. Please understand me and my situation. I have enough of problems already. Please dont add in more. Just give me time to heal everything up and i swear i will. And let time decide what's best for us alright , babe ? Thanks for making my day just now. Apprieciate it. Labels: i missed you, still
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 8:09 PM
♥Humpty dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty dumpty had a great fall (: Today's was great . Woke up 6 am in the morning and off to airport . Im going to miss you , friend. I had fun with my colleagues and even my dearest manager. So , had our breakfast and Sofia followed me home. Had our nap first before heading to punggol to have my interviewed there. So , woke up around one plus and dearest sofia just made chaos in my house while my baby sister busily sleeping. mulut kau pe besaaar ! hahahah. Took cab there & there goes my interview and blablabla. Headed to bugis to meet the stupid friends of mine. Window shopping and yes finally i get an ice cream that im craving for. While eating it , i kept silence for awhile. It reminds of him. Being silence for sucha a long time while the others busily laughing away. But something really cracks me up. Thanks ay. hahaha (: Camwhoreed with them and off home. Argh , i just need my payday asap ! i gotta lots of things to deal with. - Pay my first bill. - Ice Skating. - Pay bestfriend 20 bucks. - Buy EDC tops. - Roxy bag. - Cousin's birthday coming up. - Vans shoes Tomorrow working afternoon shift. And i need a rest right now. update soon , readers & pictures will be up soon. Labels: HUMPTY DUMPTY
Tuesday, December 15, 2009 1:08 PM
Insecurable ♥daddy , You're just a person with no feelings at all. i dont like the way you treat grandma and my dearest uncles. I know ive been a spoil brat to you but please dont compared me with my siblings . Do you ever thought what i want in life ? Do you ever thought of people's feelings ? Talked till late night with dearest grandma & when i heard everything that grandma complained to me , i felt like slapping my maid & daddy . FUCK. I dont expect they treat grandma and uncle till like that. Seriously ,i hate you daddy for doing those shits to them. Cried for hours yesterday and thanks grandma for calming me down. Grandma , I know you've hurt all these while. I know you've been keeping all these to yourself. I promise you , grandma. No matter what happens in future later on , ill be by your side . I wont be a spoil brat anymore to you. Ilysm , grandma. I'm not who you think I am. Not smart, Not beautiful, Not funny, Not talkative, I don't tell good stories, I complain too much, I get whiny, I'm annoying, I'm noisy, (not in a good way) I'm ugly, I'm insensitive to other ppl's feelings, I cry too much, I get pmssy all the time, I'm not hot enough, I'm too skinny, I'm not perfect, I curse too much, I'm rude, I'm not rich, I spend unnecessarily, I boss around, I have lots of negative 'energy', I lie, I don't believe you. I'm just telling the truth. How I feel about myself. i need someone to talk to that really understands my outside and inside. im badly upset right now.
Monday, December 14, 2009 9:51 PM
It hurts ♥  Hey people , today was freaking exhausted. Came to work early due to i need to do the opening all by my own. And yes , had a great time with the chefs . Laughing ,jokes and even help them cooked some dishes. Ended work at six plus and thought of meeting that crazy girl , Sofia . Cancelled due to she has another plan. bodoh kau ! And bumped to linda at Delifrance, slacked awhile and off home . Phone rings and its from beloved uncle. Met him at Pasar Malam at Simei area and i bought my favourite char kueh . I want moree of that . Tomorrow maybe ? Wednesday , going to airport. Sending off dearest Gen. Im so going to miss her alot at work later on (: Thats for today , people. Im off bed . Freaking Tired . Goodnights.
Sunday, December 13, 2009 1:12 PM
disappeared ♥It takes time for me to heal everything up. Leaving you is not what ive always want. Afterall , days by days things turns out badly and i just couldnt bare with it. FUCK . i hate to be in this situation , like seriously.
Saturday, December 12, 2009 12:32 PM
i miss you ♥  Things turn out badly & decision that ive made its not what i want. I myself knows better that i loved only him & no one else. But , i ensure myself that i try to get him out off my mind since everything turns badly. And you dont even care , baby. I dont want to be the one who hoping him only for him. I dont want to made another stupid mistake. Yesterday met faridah and accompany me to buy some stuffs. Bought a necklace of my own & a bag too. Yeah , i think i should be with friends more often right now. Working later at three & prolly meeting bestfriend irah after done with my working thingy.
Friday, December 11, 2009 2:03 PM
JERKS ♥Friend , Sometimes , when thinking evrything back , i felt terrible. Seriously i missed those littlest moments we had. Bitching about others , sharing secrets , do stupid stuffs and etc. I shouldnt left our friendship just like that . Im sorry for whatever happens. Like what you said , let bygone be bygone. Ice Skating when my next payday okay ? (: Yesterday , working was freaking fun. They made my day and i swear im simply smiling all the way even though something upsets me. The bestest part was , Farhan looks like a stupid idiot clown when wearing those christmas hat ! But anyway , i loved your new hair-do , dude (: Ended worked at 7plus. Planned was to meet bestfriend irah but last minute cancel due to im not in the mood to slack. Some other day alright ? Its not working , babe. I dont see it coming between us. I just had enough with the new lifestyles you leading right now. I dont want to shed tears anymore . I dont want to get hurt anymore. And most importantly , fall in love. I hate to be in this situation while you're out there fucking happy-ing away. I dont know if you're being a jerk but let me tell you this no one can loved you like how i used to for the past 3 years the sacrificies i made & now im getting tired of it with the way you treat me. I'll try my very best to get you out off my mind and i know there's someone better for both of us. I dont want to be in this state , either but you forced me to. You force me to made this stupid decision that i myself dont want it either. Its better off for us doing our own stuff for the time being. See , if we really need each other. But please dont blame me if anything happens alright. I treat you nice , i treat you well but this what i get it from you. And you kept saying "its a random thingy". Babe , yes , it is but you dont even understand of how i felt and you dont even care or bothered about it. You kept doing it continuously. Im sick & tired of it. So what for i am here shedding tears ,worring about you ? I dont wanna waste my time. And i bet you dont even need me anymore , right ? when that particulcar girl left you , here it comes my cellphone rings and its a text from you. Thanks for Everything & I'll never regret being with you.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009 3:55 PM
Three words ♥  Yesterday managed to decide to meet Big Time Boyfriend. Went town with Big Time Boyfriend. And drop by his workplace and he bought me this beautiful dress that ive been wanting it. Awww , i just loved him. And Big Time Boyfriend treat me in ice cream since im craving for it. You're the bestest person ive been with. And we do have this temporary tattoo on our hand due to supporting the italian guy. Do check out our photos on it. At somerset , level one. hee (: So , watched New Moon with him & Big Time Boyfriend says that the show sucks. Alot of talking thingy. Afterall , im still in Edward's team. He's so feaking hot (: Window - shopping and off home. """"" Baby , you have no idea how greatful i am right now. Years past when im loving you , expressing it to you is difficul for me saying i love you . Is a feeling from me. I dont know that i will fall for you this deeply until i coudlnt resist to anyone. Yes , im changing for the better but i just couldnt possibly do it on myself. You too have to do your part. Yes , people been saying . Im stupid , naive , foolish for being with you all the times. But i dont care what people says about you. Cause they doesnt know your inside as much as i do. I cant denied that you have a lot of girl friends , flirting around and whatever shit. But hey , that's life. No one is fucking perfect in this world. Ive just have to believe that you will changed someday and realised how much and big my love is to you. Though you've hurt me alot of times , playing bhind my back but hunney , i know you didnt meant to but situation it is to be blame. I dont blame you at all and i never regretted having you as my life partner cause i know god's testing both of us. I will never let you go this time round unless there's someone entered in our love story. I wished i could tell you how much you have touched me , how much you made me happy , how much when you hold me , how much you smile at me , it touches my heart in such a way that no one else can ever come close to. And just how much you love me makes me want to be a better person. Every breathe that i took , i just loved you more and more. Just the way i want nothing more than to be able to hold you everyday of my life. There arent enough words in this entire world that can truly explain just how much i love you. """""""
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 11:42 AM
Mind-ness ♥I couldnt make up my mind if today im off meeting Big Time Boyfriend ? I missed him so much but im working today. We had alots of plans to catch up together. Its been months we didnt get to spend time together . Believe it or not . heh I missed Big Time Boyfriend already. Argh ! stupid work ! Planned to watch movies , Buy my Roxy bag , highlight his hair & most importantly , had dinner together. Wait for his text & planned it again. will update soon , readers (:
Sunday, December 6, 2009 12:33 PM
Spill your love on me , baby. ♥ Yesterday working was super chaos when this manager of Seoul Garden came to my workplace with his family to have their dinner. Colleagues were all looking at me & i was like wtf. Hello ? whats got to do with me & him ay ? Basically , he was too charming when i first looked at him till all my malay colleagues was freaking interested with him and so-called "fall in love with him". I was liike berangan laa korang. heh But i guess , my Big Time Boyfriend way charming than him yeah (: like what Gen says right ? hahhaha. So yesterday , ended work at 9pm & as usal met the beloved Esprit clan of mine. I can tell you , they're the greatest friend that i can have in my whole entire life. Im not your minah rep ay , Esprit Clan. And yesterday was my bestest day cause i get to meet with Big Time Boyfriend due to the last few days both of us busy with our own stuffs. You have no idea how much i missed you , boyfriend. As usual , Esprit Clan made my day with their stupid , lame jokes & they plannned to watch midnight movies but no money. bodoh uh korang (: So yeah , lend them some and i can be sucha good friend if you guys treat me well. Around 11 plus , off home and i get new number for my phone that Big Time Boyfriend bought it for me. Ive always been loyal to you if you're loyal to me in return , honey. So , both of us working in this week & we're going to be busy again like usual. I have to learned the situation i am with Big Time Boyrfriend now cause busy with our own stuffs makes us end up quarrelling. But , all i want you to know that im deeply falling for you , baby. You're the only one who i can pour my love to. No matter how hard it takes us to go through together , ive always loved you like the way the first time ive met you. Big Time Boyfriend has takes it all on me. He managed to takes everything in me until i couldnt loved someone else that easy. Only gods knows how much i loved him. I thought you're the bestest frien that i could have, girl. But my thought are just way different from what ive seen now. You just had shown me your true colours and im being naive as only now i can see the really you. I dont blame you or whoever but im simply blaming myself for trusting people that easy. You wants everyones to go things as what you planned without thinking that we do have our own life and things to do. I do have a boyfriend too and i do loved him the way you loved your boyfriend too but i dont really really put my boyfriend as my first damn priority all the times. Forget everything including friends . There's a limit to everything , honey. I dont want to argue with you about this stupid littlest thingy cause i still holding strong in our friendship & i still loved you as my friend although everytime im mad at you. But please , we're different from all your friends whom can really understands your attitude of life. Please , understands me & dont always we're have to listen what you says. Im different from others of our friends. I lead my life not by listening or followed what peope do or says. Get that in mind , girlfriend.
Friday, December 4, 2009 11:53 AM
Come & Go ♥Currently in school right now. Using Friend's laptop. Exams will be a short awhile and im here blogging. Yeah , i dont even understand of what my courses are. So i dont even bothered. I felt bad these few days. I dont know if what im doing will be the best for us or it will make us far apart ? I dont want to be in love with anyone else except this particular guy ive been with since imma in secondary school. I know i need to endure myself and not always hoping for him. Babe , im doing this because of you. I just wanna see do you really need me in your life ? Im going far from you , honey. Its not that i have someone else or whatever shit. But you have to know this , the way you treat me arent nice and it really breaks me into tears every night. You just becoming darn heartless and idk what makes you changed in a sudden. Dont blame me if anything happens between us.
Thursday, December 3, 2009 9:50 PM
HEARTLESS ♥    i never thought that you change just like that. I dont know if im being too naive for just listening to him or think that he's always right. I thought after what ive done for him , it really make him realised his mistakes and see how much i loved him. But its pointless. Nothing change and the worst thing , he just became a heartless person to me. He never ever see in me but yet he see in me through my outside. Im tired of being stucked in this situation again and again. Cause you wouldnt even bothered about it, babe You never take it seriously & you always push everything back to me without thinking why am i angry , sad or dissapointed. Everything that i do and made , there's a reason behind it and its not what i want. Why cant you just loved , cared & understands me like the way other guys treat his girlfriend. Sometimes , im jealous of it. Why cant my boyfriend be like that. Im not trying to say he's not perfect or whatever shit it is. But , i dont like the way he is right now. I dont get your full attention from you nowdays. Can you just explain to me where am i standing in your life ? Can you just explain to me why are we still holding this relationship ? Babe , i need those answers to ensure my feelings on it. Seriously , nearly three years im with you , im darn tired. Ive been drowning in your love for sucha long time. Likewise , im not breaking up with you unless there's a third party in our relationship. I'll keep my words that ive said to you , i wont let you go this time. I'll be the bestest gf for you. But you yourself never apprieciates of what ive done. Im still holding it , babe though its really hurt me bad enough. Please change the way you are cause i dont want to be in love with someone else except you , babe. And i dont want to end everything up just like that. |
EFY ♥ 
1st November is my all time favourite day, big thanks to mum Ive owned a beautiful/gorgeous bestfriend. Bestfriend Amira && Irahh My all time favourite Soldier boy ♥ MY SAY ♥ ShoutMix chat widget REWIND ♥
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